pocketfulls of sunshine

hello hello!

2011-07-04T22:05:00.001-07:00

please come follow me over at my new blog... www.dandelion-pie.blogspot.com

this blog will self destruct in 3...2...1....

2011-01-02T20:41:00.000-08:00

Allright, I am finished with my blog. THIS blog. I have abandoned it for far too long. Life has been busy, crazy, depressing at times, and did I say CRAZY??? But rather than give up blogging all together, I thought perhaps a brand new blog... www.dandelion-pie.blogspot.com might perk up my appetite for writing about my daily doings. So... if any of you lovely people still happen to be interested in our crazy little life, after our very long absence from blogland, I would be delighted to have you follow me over at my new blog. Love, ME

Jasper... future computer repair man....

2010-11-17T09:27:00.000-08:00

My computer had a horrible virus, that I was unable to get off for weeks, but somehow briany little jasper sat down and after tappping and thumping on my keyboard for 2 minutes, VIRUS GONE! POOF! SO now that my computer is back and working here is a quicky little post. Caillou has started a wonderful preschool program 2 days a week to help him with his adhd. Jasper is sweet and silly as ever and loves his special time with mommy when the school bus comes and takes big brother off to school. Ollie is 6 months old!!!!! I can hardly believe that the time has passed this quickly. I have sooo many pictures to post, halloween, first day of preschool, first school lunch, crafty projects, adventures, but... the little people are underfoot and my computer time must be short. We are working on a lovely gnome house (doll house for my little men) and having so much fun doing so, I am finally starting to get back into a crafting... sewing..baking... groove. We are getting very excited about the holidays, and Caillous 4th b-day!! We have acquired a white poodle... okay she is blue... Mrs. Stewarts liquid bluing is really best used in moderation. Miss poodle eats everything... binkys, clothespins, legos, rubber ducks, it is quite exasperating. Our chickens and ducks have found a new home next door with the neighbors... long story short... the boys put our dear duck in the refridgerator and shut her in. I discovered her after hearing a horrible thumping and whacking sound coming from the kitchen. I opened the fridge door to see an explosion of feathers come towards me and one cold, irritated duck. Naughty boys..... naughty boys may not have pet chickens and ducks when they are not nice to them. As for Miss. Poodle she is staying for now, she is holding her own quite well with the short rowdy people. She is hyper, wild, frisky, and always into something, she is the furry version of Caillou! Well that is all for now... the little peoples are making mischief!

Daily life....

2010-10-16T22:53:00.000-07:00

Life is interesting to say the least around here! I am learning that boys... boys are wild, amusing, bewildering, creatures; free spirited, muddy, silly, and slightly insane. Boys wll be boys, and several times thoughout the day they make me want to pull my hair out, but many more times I just want to wrap my arms around them and squeeze them tight and laugh over their crazy mischievious ways. Sometimes all I can do is laugh... like this morning when I awoke to find Caillou hovering over me with a bag of chocolate chips and a corn on the cob skewer, he then pointed behind him, with a devilish grin... making me aware that he had tied my ankle to Ollie's crib with my bathrobe tie, saying " stay there mommy, don't get up until dinner, you don't take these away from me" shaking his chocolate chips over my head. There are days in which I am exasperated to no end... like Monday when we were in the emergency room. Poor Jasper had to have a gash under his eye glued shut, after Caillou threw a toy train at him. There are moments when I feel like I must be out of my mind... like today when I decided to go to our town's quilt show, with my 3 boys, and nearly every woman there said " you are very brave" or "my... don't you have your hands full" I smiled, I nodded, making my way through the crowd, thinking," Ladies you really don't know the half of it." I think they learned the other half, when an unsuspecting quilter shrieked "SHAME ON YOU", after Caillou mischieviously,without any warning, poked a straight pin into her thigh. Life is never boring... it is interesting, exasperating, amusing... but never boring... or QUIET. This week Caillou began yoga... yes yes, I can hear you all chuckling wondering WHY? and WHAT is she THINKING? And no.... Caillou was not calm, he put the magic yoga rock in his mouth, Jasper carried off the Buddha, Caillou spends half of class either climbing on top of his teacher or making odd noises and throwing yoga mats... but oh what a wonderful teacher she has! A very patient, calming, enthuisiastic teacher, determined to help my wild child enjoy yoga! Having a child with ADHD is frustrating to say the least, but I will tell you, as crazy as this boy makes me, he is truly the most enchanting and delightful child you could ever happen to meet. Jasper is equally endearing with his funny antics and his ever so gentle and loving ways towards baby Ollie. Jasper is such a great big brother!!!! Oh Jasper, he is such a snuggle bug and such a sweetie pie. And funny too, I love how he crinkles up his little nose at me, and yells COW when he is mad. And Ollie, oh Ollie. Getting bigger every day. Five months old now! Where is the time going!!!???!! I sewed him a sling this week from some lovely fabric from my bloggy friend Gail. Ollie loves his new sling and being able to be snuggled right up against me, even if most of the day he is bobbing up and down as I chase after his wild big brothers. This week has been a busy week... we moved dirt, made mud pits, and replanted my strawberries in elevated dirt rows. We shopped at natural food stores, began making magic " calming " tonics with fish oil, vitamin d-3, lemon balm and chamomille. We learned that Jello can be oh so wonderful to a two year old with a boo-boo. And that a day at the beach with friends is the perfect place to go when you feel like pulling out your hair. We learned that muddy laundry begins to smell rather quickly, and that planting seeds in paper cups of potting soil on the dining room table is maybe not such a great idea. I have learned that a soon to be 4 year old boy just will not give up about wearing fairy wings for Halloween... peter pan with fairy wings... he will only be little once! We have discovered that litte boys who are good and go to bed when they are told... awake to find cookies, and butterflies and pixie dust in their door ways, that the fairies delivered in the wee hours of the morning. We have done a lot this week and learned a lot to. We have gone through lots of frustrations and upsets, but had lots of giggles and merrymaking as well. I have learned when I feel like "I just can't do this anymore" or that I am about to go crazy... I can do this, I want to do this, I love doing this, and I think I kind of like this crazy, crazy life we live!

I swear I'm not dead....

2010-10-03T14:47:00.000-07:00

Okay for any of you who still keep an eye on this abandoned ghost townish of a blog, I am still alive. I don't know what it is, but I just can't seem to get into a blogging groove. I am constantly tired, from the time I get up in the morning till the time I go to bed. I think a big part of my tiredness comes from the anti-depressants that I am on. YES, I take crazy pills... I am sure there are quite a few of us out there!! Honestly I really don't know if they are doing what they are supposed to do, I seem to feel blue while I am on them and blue when I am not. I have tried several different prescriptions through out the years, and some seem to work for a while and then some seem to not work at all. It is so hard to tell what is working and what is not, especially when the pills list irritablility, anxiety, and depresssion as some of the side effects! Anywhoo, they make me tired. I could also be tired because I fear I may be in a sugar coma.... my children would be astonished to see the amount of ice cream and homemade cookies mama cosumes while they are quietly sleeping in their beds. One evening a few weeks ago I made 19 pounds, yes 19 pounds of my homemade cookie dough... rolled it up into balls froze them in oodles of ziploc bags, and now whenever I want cookies, which is rather often, I just go to my freezer, and in about 20 minutes I have a rather speedy and efficient cookie fix! I may also have neglected this blog a bit because I have become addicted to watching Desperate Housewives, yes I know, trashy, but I do not have cable, and at the end of the day, I just want to sit down and relax. And all the past seasons of desperate housewives can be watched online. I would much rather sit down and watch my HBO series Big Love ( shhhh! yes i know that I am a Mormon, and there is a bit of irony in me watching this show, but lets just say it is a darn good show!) but renting this show at blockbuster is too pricey and just the thought alone of taking my dear, busy children into blockbuster video makes me feel a bit nauseous and stressed. Wow! haven't I gone off into a tangent! So, long story short, I have not blogged because as soon as my children go to bed, I take my crazy pills, consume large quanitites of chocolate ice cream, bake me some cookies, and watch trashy t.v. till the wee hours of the morning. Okay..... I also may be a bit tired because Caillou has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD, I have chosen at this point in time not to go the route of medication. Caillou is an incredibly smart, creative, and curious child, he is also incredibly busy busy busy!!! Everday is a marathon keeping up with him, and of course little brother who wants to be just as silly as big brother. I could go into detail.... in the past month since I have blogged, my children ran their tricycle into the ice cream man, Jasper tried to snuggle him to death, while Caillou ran off with the push cart of ice cream handing out far too many free ice creams to count. WHERE WAS HIS MOTHER???? I was running as fast as I could across the park, half topless...with poor Ollie trying his very best to continue nursing away at his afternoon snack. We had an incident with Caillou running away in Target from Grandma, Caillou wants to constantly be with mommy, which I do love, I love having a child that adores me so much and hates to be away from me, but it does make it difficult when I can't even go to the potty whithout him running away. There was also an incident at Arco with a GARDA armoured truck, oh Caillou, my dear busy boy. We had a lovely day in Julian celebrating the first day of fall, we may have made a mistake visiting a pioneer cemetery ( Miss. Virginia Hamilton, I do hope we put your grave marker back with the right Hamilton family, but if perhaps we misplaced your marker, maybe a change of scenery after 150 years in the same spot will do you good.) Life is busy, and maybe I am a glutten for punishment taking my children out in public when so many would nod their heads in unanimous agreement that my children are SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE, but as insane as my boys do make me, and as slightly off beat and busy as they may be, BOYS WILL BE BOYS, they will only be little once, and I refuse to waste their childhood hiding them away, simply because they are very active and not entirely well behaved. I can say this much, as horrendously horrid as they may be at time, you will never NOT hear them say please, thank you, may I please, or offer a prayer for their food unprompted. Naughty little boys, but they do have an angelic side to them! Back to Caillou and his ADHD, I took him in for testing to a preschool program designed to help children with ADHD, to help them better adjust socially and to help with learning directional and listening skills. This was a tough step for me to make, because I truly want to homeschool my boys in a more creative, less conventional environment ( that being said... in my schooling attempts, it seems that while mommy is giving instructions for cutting out shapes, the children are busy glueing and glittering eachother to the walls.) Any whoo, we are still in the application process, but this past monday we went in for testing. Caillou was asked a series of 500 preschool appropriate questions from work books and out of those 500, he answered 493 correctly. So no longer do I have just a naughty little boy, but I have a GENIUS OF A NAUGHTY LITTLE BOY! This is something that I have always known about my Caillou, he has always been an exceptionally bright child, some may have difficulties seeing this, past his wildly busy and entertainingly crazy hyper antics, but he is smart, incredibly smart, brilliantly smart. AND OH SO EXHASUTING TO HIS MOMMY! I may also be a bit tired because I have been single mommying it. My husband has a new job, he has returned to truck driving, and has been gone for the past five weeks. This is a GOOD thing, and we are all quite proud of him and his hard work in this new job. So it will be a way of life for us, gone for weeks at a time and home a few days then back on the road. Oh and if there are any CRAZY PEOPLES out there who are quitely blog stalking me, and think AH HAH! She is home alone, we can finally come do her in and dig a hole in her back yard and bury her in it. THINK AGAIN! I actually do quite well when on my own, I would have to say I do enjoy wearing both the pants and the apron in my house! Well, now that I have had my crazy little rant for the day, okay for the month, it has been that long since I have been away. I suppose I should share some pictures off all our adventures...EXCUSES AS TO WHY i HAVE BEEN TOo TiRED TO bLOG??

ALLRIGHTY THEN! So that is what we have been up to! Busy busy days for me and my lovely little boys. I have been secretly planning a new blog.... ssshh, with as slow as I am on this one, it may take a while before the new one is finished. But the new one is in the works, and will share my day to day zanies with my boys as well as all the homemade things in our little world. I will be excited to share this with you all, "homemade" is a big big part of our daily life ( that is when we are not in McDonalds drive thru....) well I must bid you all farewell for now, my timer is ringing.... that means my cookies are ready!

A beautiful summer......

2010-08-30T22:38:00.000-07:00

I am beginning to realize that the reason why I don't blog much is not because I am lazy, it is because I am busy doing so much stuff! I guess every now and then I need to blog and post some pictures to realize that! We have had a wonderful summer full of adventures.

A little song from Caillou....

2010-08-15T18:57:00.000-07:00

My sweet funny little boy loves to sing! This is the first of many of his little musical moments that I will be sharing with you!

A week of Diet Coke....

2010-08-05T15:47:00.000-07:00

I am addicted to diet coke, or diet pepsi, doesn't really matter as long as it is ice cold, and from a soda fountain. I don't care for it much in the bottle or the can, I will drink it, however, it is the icey cold, bubbly, straight from the soda fountain, good stuff that I prefer. 3 blocks from my house is my diet coke, "go to" spot. The girls in there all know me, and laugh when I come in with my procession of children, wild, noisy, and usually dirty from a trip to the park, or a romp in the garden. Or when I come in at the end of a very long day, and march over to that soda machine and the with my big cup in hand, walk over to the counter and say " you don't know what a day I have had, I need my diet coke" They particularly find it funny when I come in more than twice on the same day, which.... sometimes I do. Sooo, I decided to collect my cups for a week to see just how bad my diet soda addiction is... well as you can see by the picture... it is not good.

In one week I consumed 1624 ounces of ice cold diet coke, possibly more if you consider the refills.

1624 ounces, that is more than 13 gallons of diet soda. Dear me, what am I going to do? I find myself really needing my ice cold lifesaver to get me through my day, and one to gulp down as I rock in my rocking chair at night, recovering from a wild day with toddlers. This habit.... cannot be good.

A little Country fair....

2010-08-04T01:09:00.000-07:00

The boys had a lot of fun this past weekend at our town's little fair...riding rides, playing games, and eating cotton candy, popcorn, and churros. This weekend we have the 4-h animal fair to look forward too!

Two......

2010-07-30T11:53:00.000-07:00

Jasper turned two on the 17th! We had a fun day with friends and treats and presents. My little old house was about 120 degrees, it was hot and miserable. So... we got in the car, friends following behind us, and drove down the hill to a Mc Donalds with an air conditioned playground, it was cold and heavenly, we then romped around at a park with train tracks, a little creek, and great trees to climb, and finished up the birthday evening with a scoop of ice cream from thrifty's.

the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me....

2010-07-26T01:20:00.000-07:00

Today I was having a blue day, and then I read my friend Aimee's latest blog post. Most days I have a pretty negative opinion of myself, I focus on my weaknesses, and the " I should have done this" or " I could have done that better" I can't tell you how much it lifted my spirits and brightened my day to hear my dear friend speak so lovingly and kindly of me and to see myself through her eyes.

Aimee's blog post....

Ashley and I met in church. My first Sunday in that ward, I didn't know why, but I just felt the second she walked into Relief Society, that we HAD to be friends. I smiled at her and waved. Probably several times. She thought I was some weird-o that wouldn't leave her alone! I was nervous about being in a new ward, town...State! A few weeks into my move, I got a job. But my job didn't pay regularly and I was barely making it. Ashley took my two littles in while I worked. And knowing I didn't have any money, she allowed me to pay her as I got paid. I feel horrible sometimes about it, she often would watch them for little to nothing, and she included their lunch and snacks. Our children learned to play together. And as I would hang out for hours after work, we seemed to bond really well. We had a lot in common. Our longing to be at home with our children, our creativity (even though we express our creativity through other outlets), our love of cooking/baking, our poverty, and our carlessness. Often, she would take me out with her foodstamps and buy my groceries, and I would take what little money I had earned from that week, and buy her diapers and wipes. Mind you, we walked to the grocery store or Kmart to purchase all of these things. We walked to WIC offices together, trying to tame our toddlers. Our 4 children (and her one on the way - Ollie) were naughty most of the time. I'm sure some wondered how we did it. We wondered how we did it. Burger King closed their playground. (I'm quite certain our toddlers had something to do with it's demise...)

Ashely is a wonderful friend. She is always kind, optimistic and positive. She's always baking something, even when it's 110 degrees outside and her children are driving her crazy.

She gardens and sows, even into the wee hours of the morning. She definitely deserves the crown of Domestic Goddess. She's the friend that I know I can call on anytime, even at 2am and know that she will listen, completely. She's the friend that came and flushed my dead goldfish, and cleaned out the cupboards that contained a mouse, because I was too chicken to do it. She's the friend who said, "Of course you can do it" When I said that I was done. She believed in me always, even when I couldn't see anything.

I believe that the kind of person you are is reflected in your children. Ashley's children (along with being normal little rambunctious boys) are very kind-hearted. Always wanting to be their best, even when it's hard for them to be. I miss sweet little Caillou's heart felt, "Can I come play at your house?", "Will you come with me", etc..

Just a few days before I had to leave, I stopped by to check on little Ollie real quick before I had to head to a family gathering. When I got inside, Caillou came running straight out of the tub to see me. Great big smile. And Jasper was calling me. "Aimee Aimee" I have never in my life felt so loved, besides my own children of course. These boys are such angels. And just like my children, their horns are holding up those halos. :-)

Every problem we have had has either been solved or been made into something severely comical. Several times we wished for a video camera to film all of our adventures. I'm pretty sure a major network would have picked up our reality show in an instant. We are worth it! There was never, ever a dull moment when we got together. I love our little stitched together family. Yes, in the end of my little Ramona adventure, that is what she became. Ashley was more than just a friend, she was a Godsend. She was a sister. Those boys are just like my nephews. They are a major part of my family. They always will be.

I still don't understand all the reasons God had me go to Ramona, but I will be happy even if it was just to learn, and grow and laugh and gain a sister in all the process.

You're the best, Ashley!

I am so lucky to have such wonderful friends in my life, and even more so to have quite a few of them.

"Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, and somewhere in the middle we became the best of friends. ~Author Unknown"

Thank you Aimee!!! Thank you for brightenning my day, thank you for everything. I love our little stitched together family and miss you guys so much.

Blueberries for Chrissy....

2010-07-14T21:39:00.000-07:00

I love to can fresh fruits and garden goodness, preserves, salsa, jams. In my last post, I shared a picture of blueberries in their jars ready to be processed. My friend Chrissy over at
http://mother-moments.blogspot.com/ asked if I might share how I canned my blueberries.

blueberries all ready in their jars to go into the canning pot!

I followed the Ball canning book's method for raw packing berries. I used half pint jars, sterilizing them in super hot water and keeping them in hot water until ready for use. While my canning pot was full of water boiling, I checked over all my blueberries and washed them clean. I then made a medium syrup on the stove top.... 3 1/4 sugar and 5 cups water, brought to a boil. I took my hot jars out of the water and filled them with the blueberries and ladled hot syrup over each jar, leaving 1/4 head space in the jars. I then adjusted the two piece caps, finger tip tight, and placed them in the canning rack, inside my canning pot, in which the water was at a full rolling boil. I processed them for 25 minutes. As with all canning, check to make sure each one seals, it is sealed when the lid no longer gives up and down when you push on it. Usually you can hear the cans "pop" sealed. The blueberries once processed have a lovely purplish color. My kids enjoy them over cottage cheese, and our great used in baking. Sorry there aren't tons of pictures, I am actually in the process of canning some salsa from what I have been growing in the garden!

What's been going on in our neck of the woods....

2010-07-14T13:07:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a while.... I took a bit of a break from my blogging. It has been a hard couple of weeks around here. One of my dearest and truest of friends moved away. This is Aimee.... we met a year ago when she moved into town with her two little kids. We were sitting across from each other and she kept smiling at me. I was in a hermit like, leave me alone sort of mood, and grouchily kept thinking, what on earth is this girl smiling about. Well, from that day forward.... we were pretty much inseparable. We both were pretty much car- less. So we began walking all through town together. Somedays our outings would be nearly 10 hours long when we make the trek to K-mart. We dined in many a fast food place, and terrorized all the grocery stores and playgrounds. Chase bank might possibly have ran out of lollipops due to us, and I am almost without a doubt certain, that burger king dismantled their playground due to one of our late night visits. I can only imagine that as we walked through town, in a grand procession of double strollers, screaming toddlers, and sticky things being flung by our less than mannerly brood, every business owner and employee shuddered and held their breath as we passed by, hoping we would not stop in for lunch or a bit of shopping. We had many a good trip through town together and shared a lot. We listened to each others woes and worries and hopes and ideas. We gave a shoulder to cry on when we had terrible days of toddler tantrums, bills unpaid, and fears of losing our homes. We shared groceries and diapers, and giggles and tears. We strutted into a sleazy bar, ( I was 7 months pregnant) for a potty break. We did loads and loads of laundry, and made soaps and lotions and choclate balls. We battled bugs and mice and crazies, and even sent a chicken to heaven. She was there the day Jasper took his first steps ( the same day I found out Ollie was on the way). I was there to flush a dead fish and save her from the scary granola eating mice. We gave eachother confidence, and most of all understanding and friendship on the hardest of days. She moved to Utah, and I am missing her tons. I was very close to loading up my stuff in the U-haul with her and still just might venture out there one of these days.

But anywhoo, that is why I have been away from the blog. I am sulking and pouting and having a bit of a tough time. We became like family in this past year, and it is lonesome without her here.

Thank goodness I have my Mama and my bestie Sarah. Now if only Sarah and I weren't 70 miles apart....

but that is a story for another day....

Other than being in a bit of a frump...

I have been enjoying snuggling my baby in our hammock

We have had painting

which of course the paint never gets painted on what it is supposed to be painted upon

we have enjoyed baby smiles.... Ollie gave me his first real smile on July 1st

we have been picking lots of goodies from our garden, I just adore that my boys love their garden and are having the experience of growing and gathering and eating such healthy yummies

we celebrated 4th of July

and canned apricot nectarine preserves and blueberries

we have picked oranges from the tree for marmalade

and of course played at the park

enjoying picnics

and naps

and playing

and doing our best to keep cool in the heat of summertime

We also have been enjoying free movies on Tuesdays. The kids have seen 4 movie theater movies this summer, and have been absolutely thrilled to do so! Both my pairs of glasses were destroyed. One pair finally crumbled after being patched up when I was hit in the head with a tennis ball, and then later snapped in two by Jasper. So I went back to my old glasses, that were too weak and also broken, well... they fell off my face and I ran over them with the car. So, I am a bit blind at the moment. It has been a crazy past two weeks. I have been tired, and grumpy, short tempered, and depressed. I feel like I do nothing and get nothing done, but I guess as I reflect on the weeks in pictures, I realize I do more than I think. When I am in a funk it is hard for me to be positive and I struggle with my nerves, I guess all I can do is try my best each day. I will try not to go so long before I blog again y'all. Jasper will be two this Saturday, I am sure it will be a fun day with lots of pictures and tales to tell!

Life is short....

2010-06-28T00:02:00.000-07:00

Life is short, too short to spend on things that in the end really don't matter. Too short to be overly concerned with politics, or the trends of the world, too short for gossip and grudges, too short to be waiting for tomorrows, life is to short to not live in the moment and make every day a memory. Life is short, and childhood is even shorter, I am doing my best to live each day to the fullest, and create as much magic as I possibly can for my boys. Okay... most days, I am mostly just trying to SURVIVE the chaos my two toddlers create, but I create quite a bit of chaos myself with all our little adventures. I want each day to be an adventure for my littles, a learning experience, a moment they will remember. Here are some pictures from this weeks adventures...

here we are enjoying a FREE movie, the kids were so enchanted to go to a movie theater!

eating crayons...

cooling off at Boo-bah's house....

making cake....

relaxing in a buttermilk bath...

Boys and their babies....

flying high in the sky...

mmmm, breakfast with Boo-bah....

trying to keep up with big brother....

according to Caillou... the 3 little pigs live here!

late night happy meals!

a shopping trip...

snacks at the park...

don't be fooled by the pictures... they don't stay in the cart for long...

boys love trains....

and bubbles....

and trees!

cooling off on a hot day

cuteness!

smelling flowers

an impromptu boogie in a wal-mart aisle

Hi mama!

Life is short, spend it doing what you love and with those you love. Life may not be perfect, there will be hard times, and uncontrollable events in the world...there will be over due bills, and no good days. There will be people who don't like you and try to hurt you, and there will be plenty of difficult trials in life....

but there is so much good if you look for it.

Good in people, and in places, and in simple things.

Sunshine to be found in each and every day, even in the midst of toddler tantrums and mama meltdowns and a world of crap spinning around you. Savor the simple things, muddy toddler toes, hand-made blankets, diet coke, and chocolate frosting... ladybugs, grass stained knees, a hand-picked bouquet, walks to the park, tricycle rides. The voice of my little ones singing me songs, the quiet of nursing my baby in the middle of the night, evenings spent at the park, and afternoons snuggling littles in the hammock. The whir and hum of my sewing machine late at night, the crow of our rooster in the morning.

This is my world, my life, my sunshine.

As long as my boys have a smile on their face at the end of the day, NOTHING else matters to me!

Growing things....

2010-06-22T23:44:00.000-07:00

Since my first son, Caillou, was born, I have had a fascination with growing a garden. It started with a pumpkin seed and a couple of strawberry plants when I lived on Ivy street. And then when I lived in our upstairs apartment, there were dozens of potted plants, a wading pool filled with soil and seedlings, and a warm afternoon 8 months pregnant with Jasper in which I hauled 170 pounds of potting soil bag by bag up my stairs to the balcony. And now, we are blessed to be renting a cute little home with a wonderful yard. It has been so much fun growing things with my little ones. Caillou and Jasper love to spend time in the garden, find little yummys to eat... a red ripe strawberry, a corn on the cob, sugar snap peas, a handful of chubby little carrots. My mama got some darling Sesame Street seed starters for the boys from Lowe's. They had so much fun arranging the little pots, putting the dirt tablets in - watering and watching them expand, burying the seeds, putting stickers on the little wooden stick plant markers. We have them all lined up in our window sill, watching them sprout, waitng for them to become big enough to add to our garden.

Oh Jasper....

2010-06-21T23:13:00.000-07:00

Jasper is such a delightful child. I love this little boy with all my heart. Next month he will be two!!!! Jasper loves Mickey Mouse, baby dolls, toy trains, eating crayons, and throwing sand. His poor liitle elbows and knees are always scraped, he does his very best to keep up with his rough and rowdy big brother. Jasper loves his binky very much, he also loves his new baby brother Ollie and gives Ollie his binky when he is crying. Such a good boy!

If you don't have anything nice to say....

2010-06-13T22:25:00.000-07:00

then don't say anything at all!

Please pardon me for the chatty hiatus I have taken on this blog. It seems as of lately the cat has gotten my tongue. I have been in a bit of a funk, life seems to have gotten me feeling a bit down in the dumps and not much in the writing mood. But.... alas, I am emerging from my bloggy silence. I am trying not to let the hard parts of my life weigh me down and overwhelm me. I am trying to look on the brightside of things. But frankly, sometimes there just ain't enough sugar to turn lemons into lemonade. I am doing my best, each and every day, I am doing my very best. I have a dream for my life, a dream that involves having many children, being loved deeply, and going to my church's temple. My dream also involves a darling house with a white picket fence, a vintage volkswagen bus to transport my many children, and a very large gift card to Jo-anns. I hope with all my heart, God sees how hard I am trying, and will bless me, for my dream to become reality. I am not ready to give up my dream, no matter how many challenges I meet. Someway, somehow, I will make my dream a reality, I am just not done having sweet little babies. On a happier note.... Life with little Ollie in it is simply wonderful, he is a beautiful, sweet, snuggly little boy. I am so in love with him - as I am with each of my 3 little men. I really cannot imagine my world without them. There are days when motherhood wears me out, sleepless nights, leaky boobs, a never-ending amount of poopy hinys to be wiped....and then of course terrible tantrums, and fighting, biting children make me want to scream and pull my hair out. But I love these boys, and would not trade this little life with them, crazy days and all, for anything else in the world. Each day is a crazy journey, and a learning experience as to what can make the next day better. I may never earn the crown of BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD or the title of MOST PATIENT MOTHER either... but I think my boys will look back on their childhood and know without a doubt how much their mama loved them and how hard their mama tried to make the sun shine for them on the cloudiest of days. In my bloggy quietness, we have been very busy. Nearly each and every day, we pack up the stroller with toys and snacks, I sling baby Ollie to me, and we set off to the park. A word of wisdom to mothers...DO NOT LET YOUR TODDLER CONVINCE YOU THAT HE CAN DRIVE HIS FISHER PRICE COZYCOUPE CAR 7 BLOCKS TO THE PARK WITH EFFICIENT SPEED....THE TODDLER IS LYING!!! Another word of wisdom to mothers....DO LET YOUR CHILDREN RUN THROUGH THE PARK SPRINKLERS, ALL THE OTHER MOMS MAY LOOK AT YOU STRANGELY AS YOUR CHILDREN STRIP DOWN TO THEIR UNDIES AND RUN THROUGH WATER AND MUD, BUT YOUR KIDS WILL BE THE HAPPIEST KIDS EVER, AND YOU WILL BE A HAPPY MOM, BECAUSE YOU HAVE JUST AVOIDED A VERY LARGE TANTRUM. So, we have had many, many trips to the park. We also made the journey down to the duck pond behind the grocery store. The same duck pond we visited last summer, and accidentally let a cow loose and had it accompany us to the blockbuster video. I am pleased to report, we did not have any incidents with cows or police herding cows back to where they belong, on this most recent visit. Just a simple, mundane, visit to the duck pond to feed the ducks. We walked to church today, and afterwards had a day of play. Tomorrow we are going to plant some seeds, bake a batch of cupcakes, and head to the park for an evening of adventures.

my three boys....

2010-06-07T20:19:00.000-07:00

I've been busy enjoying my boys...

2010-05-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

Not much to say today... except... I adore these boys.

They are my everything.

Ollie...

2010-05-17T19:39:00.000-07:00

Ollie... born on Mother's Day!

2010-05-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

So... our Mother's Day began with trying to get the "perfect" picture of Mama and her boys before church... As you can see, we all had the wiggles and the giggles! The pictures might not be perfect, but being the mama of these boys sure is!

Church was nice, particularly because my little Caillou went up in front and sang with his primary class for the first time. He smiled at me, excitedly and bashfully most of the time, and occassionally sang a few notes of "Mother Dear". I was beaming with pride, you see.... this could have been a disaster, my little Caillou and all his mischievious wonder, a microphone, a large audience for him to entertain.... but a disaster it was not. He did climb up on the little podeum reaching for the microphone, and the Bishop lifted him back down twice, but once the singing started, he quickly joined in. At the end of the song, all the little kids quietly walked back to the pews to sit with their families. My Caillou was the last one to walk down, and with a twinkle in his eye, which I immediately recognized with an "uh-oh" under my breath, he turned around at lightning speed and darted back to the microphone. I waddled at an even faster pace, and caught him before he could preach his sermon. And all was well, no disaster, do tantrum, just a proud Mommy, grinning and giggling at her little boy's sweet silliness. During Sunday school, the boys made craft projects for me, Jasper made a brown satin ribbon flower corsage for me to wear, and had a little baggy with heart shaped cookies for me. Caillou made a darling little picture frame with a bit of help from Daddy. It was a good morning. We stopped on the way home and Caillou visited his friend Betty. Betty is a homeless woman in our town with a sad mysterious past, she wears black and red, and is called "Red Betty" by all the town folk. We thought she could use a little cheering up so Caillou went to say hello and to give her a handful of pink carnation flowers.

After that, Daddy and the boys had a little surprise for me...

A little stroll over to the taco shop for lunch!

Now at this point, I was feeling pretty good, well as good as you can feel when you are 9 months pregnant. My body was tired, I had been having contractions the whole day before at 7 minutes apart, and had stayed up until 2 am finishing one last quilt for baby Ollie, but I was feeling good. The diet coke came, and the yummy chips, and mmmm... I could smell my special Mother's Day lunch cooking in the kitchen of my favorite taco shop.

The food arrived, I took a bite, and suddenly.... those 7 minute apart contractions I had been ignoring for 22 hours, because after all, I was SCHEDULED for a wednesday c-section, the contractions would surely go away... well those contractions became something entirely different, LABOR! Unable to deny it any more, I looked at my rolled tacos with guacamole, sadly knowing I was unable to eat them, and told Daddy and the boys, "This is it."

It was quite exciting and scary... Caillou and Jasper had been both delivered by c-section, but they were scheduled ahead of time by doctor's orders. I had gone through false labor with both of them, but not REAL LABOR! I encouraged my boys to finish eating and I called the doctor. By now my friends at the taco shop knew what was happening and shared in the excitement, giving me hugs and good luck wishes and phone numbers to call when baby had arrived! We ran home, grabbed the boys bags, which I had just sewn and packed the night before, for their stay at Grandma's. We hurriedly packed a bag for me and drove down the hill to the hospital....

By 4:51 pm baby Ollie was here! Oliver Lee Foret took us by great surprise, both by his Mother's Day debut and his size! He ended up being our tiniest baby so far...

weighing in at 7lbs10oz and being only 19.5'' long.

We had a bit of a rocky start... and stayed at the hospital for 5 nights with little Ollie in the NICU.

But, at last, yesterday, we were able to come home! Ollie is doing great and we are both very happy to be home. Caillou and Jasper were exposed to the stomach flu and will have to stay put at their Boo-Bah's house and Nammy's house for 1 week to ensure little Ollie does not get sick. The house is quiet and I miss my big boys terribly. But I am enjoying my time to get to know my sweet baby Ollie and getting to lay in bed and snuggle him all day!

I have many more pictures to share... but for now... I am off to snuggle this darling little baby! Have a wonderful weekend!

Mama's rough and rowdies....

2010-05-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

An afternoon of play in our yard. These days I have been too tired to waddle over to the park with my little guys, so I pull up a chair in the yard and the boys seem just as happy to play in their "little park" as Caillou calls it. We love to snuggle in our hammock and look up into the leafy tree branches above us. For now though, I will be waiting for hammock time until after baby is born, it is quite awkward and extremely challenging to get out of a hammock when 9 months pregnant! After our playtime out in the yard, I gave Jasper's hair a little trim in the front, he now has crooked, funny little bangs, but at least he can see! He was beginning to look a bit shaggy doggish in these photos.

Sunshine & Dirt...

2010-05-03T09:52:00.000-07:00

Here is a little peek at our garden. This is the second spring time in which we have had a backyard that we are able to grow things in. I love spending time out in the garden with my little ones. Sometimes it is a bit stressful and I find myself yelling " don't step on that!" or the rooster is let out by curious little ones and we are frantically chasing it. But, for the most part, outdoor time with my littles is very lovely. We started our seeds excitedly, still when it was way to cold to be thinking of gardening, some in our kitchen windowsill and some straight in the ground. We have growing red onions, garlic, swiss chard, carrots, red leaf and green leaf lettuce, yellow pear tomatoes, roma tomatoes, corn, sugar snap peas, strawberries, sunburst pattypan squash, zuchinni, and in a little plot on the other side of the chicken pen, we have a little watermelon and pumpkin patch starting to sprout. We love our little garden very much. Caillou and Jasper get great enjoyment spending time in the yard, searching for strawberries, and feeding the chickens. Caillou has taken a particular liking to growing carrots, his whole little face lights up and he is bursting with excitement when he plucks them from the ground. He quickly gives them " a bath" and gives one to his brother and they both nibble away on their little carrots. We planted a variety called "short and sweet" they are cute, fat little stubby carrots, perfect for little nibblers! It has been quite fun to pick some of our gardens bounty and share it with my mama and mom. My mom has 4 rabbits, so they have really enjoyed the homegrown lettuce and carrot tops. My mama particularly enjoys the green onions! I am amazed our little garden has done this well so far, seeing as I am too poor for any fertilizers, soil enrichers, and stuff like that. But so far... just good old sunshine and dirt and everything is coming along. Garden time is a bit bittersweet for me. Everytime I pull a weed or put another seed into the ground, I have to wonder if we will be here long enough to see it grow. I find myself a bit weepy when the boys are out in their tree, climbing and playing, and swinging on their tire swing. My boys really love their home, and I just keep hoping we will be able to stay here a good long time and make many more memories here.

Little boys and their mama...

2010-04-28T23:27:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken a few months back, and I forgot to post it! We had made a little trip to motherhood maternity store, and Caillou wanted to model the strap on pillow tummy. My poor boys... they love to waddle around like their mommy, usually with odd things stuck up under their shirts. Every morning they fight over the bottle of Tums by my bedside, Caillou is quite convinced that he has heartburn. My children are never surprised by mommy's pregnancy throw-uppys. Jasper yells Ow! Caillou says he has contractions, and they both start breathing funny. 3 years old and 21 months old, this is Caillou's second time around watching mommy grow a baby and understands it all much more this time. He knows mommy is having a c-section, he points to my scar, and tells me... "Mommy, did I come out of there? and Jasper came out of their too! And Ollie is going to get born mommy, and the doctor is going to get him out of there." Jasper, well Jasper says baby and kisses my tummy, but mostly he just really enjoys poking at my belly button that sticks out like a golf ball!

In other news, I have overworked my poor sewing machine. Thank goodness for my Mama, she put it in the shop for me today to be repaired. It may be a few weeks before it is ready for pick up. I am so anxious, I had so many projects to finish up. My mama was going to loan me one of her machines today, but I was feeling too lazy to learn to wind a bobbin and thread a machine different than the one I am accustomed to. I think I am changing my mind, I can't live without a sewing machine.... "oh mama... I think I am coming back down to borrow your machine!" Well, I am off to bed... very very sleepy. Goodnight y'all!

A few of my favorite things....

2010-04-26T23:34:00.000-07:00

One night last week, Caillou was having a difficult time sleeping, he was thoroughly convinced that there was a bee in the room. So... Caillou, Jasper and I snuggled up on the couch and watched the Sound of Music. The boys loved the movie. Caillou was enchanted by the singing, and has mastered singing Do-Ray-Me. His next favorite song was "Favorite Things." We really enjoyed our special late night snuggle and song singing together. Caillou has been singing his two favorite songs all week, and it got me started thinking of a few of my favorite things..... simple things, good things, happy things....

Learning how to squeeze a ketchup packet onto a hot dog....

Tractors parading through town....

Baking strawberry pies for my boys, with stawberries from our garden and homemade whipped cream...

My sunshiny, yellow shoes my mama bought for me...

Peacefully sleeping babies...

Carefully selecting the most perfect donut ever...

Making lovelies for the little corners of our home...

a banner above Ollie's crib...

A new shower curtain made from vintage pillowcases and scraps from other projects...

Crocheting a rainbow of washcloths for my little ones' bathtime

And a few for the kitchen too! To hang up next to my boy's favorite lunch pails...

Oh yes, and bright colors, polka dots, and pretty little dishes, are definitely on my list of favorite things!

So there are just a few of my favorite things! Well, I am off to bed, it has been a busy day. Tomorrow I have another doctor's appointment, which means getting to take a drive down the hill and spend the day with my mama! Another one of my favorite things to do and one of most favorite persons!

Baby is coming soon....

2010-04-23T20:15:00.000-07:00

Hello all! I thought I would check in and give a little update. Little Ollie will be joining our family very soon! I have been scheduled to have my c-section May 12th. It still is hard to believe that there will be another little baby, even with the morning sickness, watermelon belly, heartburn, and running to the potty every 5 minutes, suddenly I feel this sense of surprise and shock that I am indeed about to have a BABY. I have gone into a mad sewing frenzy making things as often as I have the chance. Trying to finish up all those last minute projects. Okay, I guess I am always in a sewing frenzy, making things for my little loves. The week before Ollie is born, my mama is throwing me a special mommyhood- baby luncheon. I decided to scratch the plan of a traditional baby shower, and have a small intimate lunch with my mama, mom, and two closest girlfriends instead. I am quite pleased that we are celebrating in this way, with the people in my life that truly love and care about me. We are going to be dining at Marie Calendars... I can't wait to order some deep fried green beans! ( A very tasty appetizer they have there!) Then comes Mother's Day, and then Ollie arrives! May will be a good month!

Well, since my two little rowdies are in bed, I should work on my sewing projects! Just wanted to stop in and say Hi! I do have plans on updating this little old blog more often, and sharing recipes and sewing projects and this and that, it just seems I have been in a rut, and I am slowly working myself out of it. Have a wonderful weekend y'all!

A very good day....

2010-04-16T12:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a very good day. A much needed good day. We made a very special trip to the strawberry fields, and had a picnic and day of play at the beach. We went with our good friends. It had been since January that we last had been able to get together! My friend's little boy is the same age as Caillou, we actually met in Lamaze class and our babies ended up being born the same day at the same hospital and have been buddies since before they could crawl. Yesterday was a peaceful and wonderful day and my little rowdies were sooooo good! I am very proud of Caillou and his good behavior yesterday, he struggles so much with his wild little self, but yesterday was a very good day for him. It was very nice for me to get to park myself down in the sand and let my littles run wild. They did great, and had so much fun, and were quite happy! We celebrated Caillou's good behavior afterwards with a scoop of ice cream, Caillou chose butter pecan and Jasper chose birthday cake ice cream! The only not so good part of the day was that forgettful me left all the strawberries we picked at my Mama's house! Oh well, she paid for our starwberry picking adventures, it only seems right she gets to enjoy some strawberries too! Goodness know we ate our fair share out in the fields! So today my mama is going to make up a batch of strawberry jam, a very special batch, strawberries picked by her little munsters! Dear Mama, please wash the strawberries... Jasper sneezed in the berry bucket....

dear bloggy friends... I need a kick in the butt... or a pep talk....

2010-04-14T23:55:00.000-07:00

Lately I have found myself stuck in a rut. Today was a particularly hard day, unpaid bills are piling up, we are running out of necessities, and I really had thought that my husband would have found work by the time Ollie gets here, but still no work, and my due date is just around the corner. I am discouraged, and I have been for a long time. I am so discouraged and tired from worry and stress, that I don't even do the things I usually enjoy doing. I used to do so much more baking and sewing, and have more outdoorsy adventures with my littles. Now I am always in such a down in the dumps frumpy state, that it is a miracle just getting through the day. I still bake cookies and sew for my kids, and we do fun stuff outside, but it is different... I have lost my cheerfulness and optimism and spunk. My life is not what I want it to be, I have so many dreams that may never be realized, the 12 kids I dream of having, may all just be a fantasy, I can't even afford to diaper or clothe the ones I have. There are far too many things about my life that I can't control or change, but I need to focus on what I can, I need to get my optimism and spunk back. I need to be all sunshine and chocolate chip cookies, no matter how crappy the reality is. My babies need that, I need that. So bloggy friends.... I need some words of encouragement.... I need a kick in the butt to jumpstart me to be that spunky sunshiny gal that I used to be. I need some oomph and fire under my feet to smile and make the best of things. I guess I need some pep talks and a boost to help me do the impossible in an impossible situation. All though I know nothing will be different tomorrow, the bills and stress and worry will be right here waiting for me tomorrow morning when I wake up, I need to make my day different. So I am going to do my best... tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I am taking my boys out with a friend to a strawberry patch and then to the beach. I am going with a realistic expectation of the day, it will not be the peaceful day that I see in pictures on other people's blogs. My rowdy boys will run rampant through the rows of strawberries, I will yell and waddle after them, and they will not listen. They will eat more strawberries than they put in their bucket, and will most likely make a very large mess and fight me wildly when it is time to get in the car. There will be sand throwing and fighting and naughty behavior at the beach. I will waddle after them and do my best to discipline them, but will not be successful. But tomorrow, I will remain CALM. Tomorrow I will work hard to get some of my sunshine back, and no matter how unruly my boys are, we will make a happy memory tomorrow. I am fighting to get my sunshine back... tomorrow is a new day.....

Easter.... yes a little late... I know!

2010-04-07T21:15:00.000-07:00

We had a great Easter weekend. Saturday morning I sewed the boys Easter bunnies and in the evening we colored eggs, Jasper preferred to dye most his eggs green. Both my boys were just so delighted with the whole process of coloring their eggs. We had some special cupcakes afterwards, and left out some carrots for Mr. Easter Bunny. We went through an entire 1lb package of carrots... Caillou and Jasper kept eating what was intended for the bunny! That evening after the littles were in bed, Daddy and I filled their baskets and put treats inside many little eggs for them to find in the yard. In the morning the boys found their baskets in their beds! Jasper kept saying "Wow, Wow, Wow" Caillou kept saying " Look what my Easter bunny gave me for my Easter!" It was very cute. We fixed a yummy breakfast, and then mommy laid down for a little rest. My rest, wasn't so restful, Caillou and Daddy decided to come rest with me, played tickle monster, and Caillou ended up kicking his leg through our bedroom window. We were very lucky that he just had one small cut! After cleaning him all up, and getting all the glass cleaned up, we finally were ready for our egg hunt! So much fun! We had a lovely weekend.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter!

a bit more of our everyday....

2010-03-31T19:51:00.000-07:00

A bit more of our everyday this and that......

Snacktime....

Crocheting blankets and sewing crib sheets for my little ones.
Caillou loves to sit next to me with his own ball of yarn and hook in hand and

pretends to make blankies for baby too!

Oh, how my boys love a trip to McDonalds for $1 cheeseburgers. Caillou and Jasper snuggled up in Mama's bike trailer, and I pedaled through town to take them for an afternoon treat. It was quite an adventure being as pregnant as I am. I could hardly lift my leg up to get on my bike without losing my balance! But they love the adventure and the playground! So whenever I can scrounge up a few bucks, we head off to McDonalds for a special afternoon.

Sleepy time in their big boy bunk bed from my mama, Boo-bah to the boys!

Everyday life....

2010-03-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

Spring is here, our daffodils are blooming, the lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, and strawberries are thriving in the garden.Strawberry preserves have been canned, and strawberry shortcakes baked. Tonight I am working on little church suits for the boys and sewed the finishing touches on Ollie's coming home outfit. In no time at all little Ollie will be here to join in our merry making. My 8 months pregnant belly and it's accompanying waddle remind me just how soon everyday! It has been a hard week, my body is just so tired, and my mind is overwhelmed with the worries of bills and job hunting, I'm grouchy, and my meds for my anemia make me throw up with no warning.... even in my diaper bag... not good. I am trying to find peace each day, in the midst of the chaos... trains and cheese snack crackers flying through the air, toddler screams and squeals ringing in my ears, and breakfast crumbs and playdough blobs underfoot, I am trying to create some peace at home, peace of mind, be at peace with the way things are. I'm trying to focus on what I can do instead of what I can't do. And focus on what I did get done, rather than didn't. I am working hard to be patient with the "toddler that just can't seem to hear a word I say" and the tiny toddler that screams and stomps his feet and yells "COW" when things don't go his way. I'm doing my best each day... I am a perfectionist, and I think sometimes I expect to much from myself, and needlessly beat myself up over my shortcomings. I'm working on that. I'm working on looking at the bright side of everyday, the sunshine! So I thought I would share some pictures of our everyday.... the simple stuff, the good stuff, our life... minus the worries, bills, stress, and tantrums....

Riding in style.....

2010-03-21T21:06:00.000-07:00

My boys are quite rough on their car seats. Okay, and maybe they have a mama who fed them far too many snacks in their car seats. A mother that made a few too many trips with Grandma to the bakery and bought cookies with far too much frosting for two little boys to eat in their car seats. Two little boys who enjoyed spitting a bit to much in their car seats, and regurgitating french fries. So.... I got into my fabric stash and pulled out some of my flannels, took the car seats out of the car, brought out my seam ripper, and got to work. The boys love their new car seats and take turns switching back and forth between sitting in the "monster" seat and the "rainbow" seat. Mommy has established some new car rules... no snacks in the back seat!!! Still working on getting them to stop having spitting contests with eachother....

A greenish sort of day...

2010-03-17T15:41:00.000-07:00

We began our day with some green eggs and ham. Then it was time for a bubble bath. Some leprechauns must have been in our tub before us.... because the water was bright green!

After we were all squeaky clean, we went out into the yard to search for any goodies that the leprechauns might have left us.

We did not find any gold coins...but we did find many golden wrapped reeses peanut butter cups!

HAPPY SAINT PARTICK'S DAY!

A box of happiness delivered to my doorstep....

2010-03-15T20:41:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday I opened my front door and found a package left by the mailman on my welcome mat! It isn't too often that the mailman delivers a package but when he does, it is surely a super exciting boisterous event. Caillou squeals... Mommy do we need a knife, mommy cut the box open!! Caillou and Jasper see how excited their mommy gets and they get super silly too! Jasper gets in on the chaos when packaging materials are involved such as bubble wrap, tissue paper, or packing peanuts.

Okay.... back to this BOX...

... This special box was sent to me by

a new friend of mine ,Gail , from http://boutiqueginabeana.blogspot.com/

Do you notice that piece of fabric on the bottom of the pile? It is the exact fabric I was raving about a few posts back, a vintage sheet found for 99 cents that I made into a quilt... and how it was my heart's desire to find another of these vintage lovelies.... Well, sweet Gail, had found not one but two of these fabulously cheerful, happy, and wonderful sheets, and surprised me and sent one my way! While she was at it, she decided to fill the box with many other wonderful goodies. I am so thrilled with my new stash of lovelies, and truly touched by the kindness and generosity my new friend sent my way. Thank you Thank you Thank you! I promise to post pictures soon of the projects that emerge from this wonderful pile!

A change to the blog....

2010-03-14T19:08:00.000-07:00

Hello all, in an effort to keep this blog a safe, wholesome, friendly environment, I will be only allowing blog followers to leave comments and have also enabled comment moderation. If you have not already joined as a follower, please do!! I would hate to lose any or my bloggy friends! Thanks for your understanding and support. Hope y'all had a wonderful weekend.

The Case of the Missing Hillbilly...

2010-03-10T21:06:00.000-08:00

This Hillbilly Mama, has once again gone missing from the world of blogging! It has been a crazy week since my last post! Last Wednesday had been such a peaceful day.... My boys and I baked little heart shaped peach pies...which they ate far to many of I can assure you! We had some lovely sunshine and a warm breeze. So into the yard my boys went in their mama-made polka-dotted pants, and Jasper still in his apron, another of his mama's nighttime sewing whims! We picked oranges off our tree and ate a few too, fed the birdies and praised our chicken ladies for the lovely eggs they had given us. We planted some carrot seeds and green onion seeds, and pulled a few weeds out of the strawberries. All three of us got the knees of our britches muddy, searching and digging for worms to give to our feathered friends. We played out in the sunshine for a good two hours, before going inside to relax to a bubble bath and marshmallows. Odd I know, but my boys really wanted one of mama's homemade marshmallow while enjoying their bubble bath. We had naptime, and storytime, and sewing time, and snuggle time, and then..... the chaos began. Wednesday's lovelies were quickly overshadowed by the drama of Wednesday evening. That night I was made aware that someone whom I had tried to befriend at one time, had done something cruel and senseless in an attack towards my family. I was hurt, mad like a mama bear, and broken hearted over what they had done. I tried to confront the situation, but unfortunately am dealing with people who just don't see the errors in their ways. It saddens me to no end, to be made the subject of their scrutiny and hatred, but I suppose some people are just so insecure and unhappy with themselves, they choose to bully and hurt those around them. As I was still struggling to make sense of all that drama, I received a phone call from the doctor on Friday morning. My bloodwork results had come back and they were not good. My anemia, had become quite severe. So much so, that they felt it was caused by something other than just iron deficiency. Early stages of Leukemia, being one of the possibilities. An immediate lab order was put in to do a full run of tests and the pharmacy was called with yet another prescription for more pills for me to pick up. Mama took me out for a yummy dinner and a trip to Jo-anns that night to calm my nerves. It was a long weekend of worry, I can't even express some of the fears and thoughts that went through my head. Monday came.... still no results. Finally on Tuesday, the lab results were in, and thank heavens, we can with 99.9% certainty rule Leukemia out of the equation. It looks as if the problem might lay in my body being unable to absorb the iron properly. I was sent back to the lab for a hemaglobinapothy evaluation... don't know quite what that is, but my arm was certainly aware of being pricked once again by more needles. Still awaiting the latest results, but for now I am on 650 mg of iron a day. Whatever the problem is, I am thankful it is not Leukemia! Worst case scenario, frequent blood tests, meds, and a blood transfusion. Which a good friend has already volunteered her blood, bone marrow, and a kidney...... (Aimee, if I do require any of your parts, I think I will owe you chocolate balls for life!) So....y'all that has been my week, why this hillbilly went missing again! What I have learned from it, is to live each day to it's fullest, appreciate the little things in life.... and don't talk to strangers. Yes, listen to the advice your mama gave you when you were 5... don't talk to strangers, because you might just befriend one, and they might turn out to be crazy!

Goodnight Y'all! Have a wonderful week! I promise to post sooner next time.

Mama's little sunshines....

2010-03-03T09:14:00.000-08:00

Life with little boys..... is full of adventures, snuggles, laughter, mud, sand, bugs, sticks and leaves, sloppy kisses, sticky hands, messes, lots of messes, smiles, silly noises, trains, airplanes, dinosaurs, boogers, I love you's, hand holding, and hugs. Life with little boys is pretty amazing. Tiring, frustrating at times, like when you just can't convince them that the toilet brush is not a tooth brush, nor is it to be used for brushing mommy's hair, and it is also not to be used as a dancing partner, but frustrations aside, life with my boys is pretty awesome. Everything is an adventure. Whether it be a nature walk, or a picnic, or a trip to the laundromat, or a day out at the farmers market searching for the perfect tomato and enjoying smelling the pretty flowers. I am so happy to have these two little boys to make my life an adventure. No matter how tough life is, these boys make everything sunshine and smiles and happy and bright. They are like my light at the end of a dark tunnel, no matter how crummy everything else is, they are my focus, my saving grace, they are my whole world. They truly are their Mama's little sunshines. I can't wait for my little Ollie to get here in May and share in our adventures and merry making.

2010-02-27T22:41:00.001-08:00

A quilt for Ollie made from fabric from my mama, and the colorful quilt I made from a $1 sheet I found at the thrift store. I can't even tell you how much I love the bright, cheery fabric. This fabric just makes me so happy. I dream of finding more of it and making many many things.

Building towers
and painting little dinosaurs that my friend Kim from Camp Whimsy sent to Caillou.

Bathtime cutie pie!

My voice is coming back, raspy and weak, but quite the improvement from my silence. Nights are pretty terrible, I cough and cough, and if the coughing doesn't get me, my heartburn does. Sooo, I have been a night owl, avoiding bedtime, and crafting the night away. Tonight I made a batch of homemade marshmallows, the boys will be so excited tomorrow! Then I sewed two reversible aprons/smocks for the boys. One side is big orange and white polka dots and the other side has trees and birds and owls. I will take a picture and post them soon! Monday I go to the doctor to check on my asthma, and I am pretty sure I will be getting some more prescriptions. On Monday, I will also pick up some fabric my mama bought and pre-washed for me.... more projects hooray! My fabric stash is starting to dwindle, and as often as my Mama adds a yard and a few fat quarters here and there too it, it is dwindling down, I am happy that all my cute fabrics are being made into things, but at the same time it is hard to see my pile of pretty colors and prints shrink. Right now I am crazy over all the 1930's style fabrics, polka dots, and 1960's-1970's floral bed linens. I have gotten into the habit of going onto Flickr and other crafty blogs, and boy oh boy.... I have fabric envy. It is a good thing I don't have a credit card, I could do some serious shopping online. I suppose if I did have a credit card, it would be wiser to use it for rent than fabric, but a girl can day dream, and anywho I do not have a credit card, so that is that! Tomorrow is Sunday, if tonight is a better night than the last few have been, hopefully I will make it to church. I am fixing a special dinner for the boys tomorrow mid-day. Today Caillou asked if we could eat at the "Chicken Bucket Store" this is what he calls Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was quite blue when I told him mommy didn't have the "money's" for the "Chicken Bucket Store" soooo.... tomorrow we are having our own "Chicken Bucket Store" dinner here at home. I am going to batter and fry up some cut up chicken breasts, make mashed potatoes and gravy, and Amish biscuits.... and I have two little metal buckets laid out to serve the chicken and biscuits in! Well, as much as I am dreading the heartburn and coughing spells, I think I am going to head off to bed. Thank you so much everyone for all your kind and thoughtful comments, from those I know and from all my "anonymous" bloggy pals. It means a lot to know I have friends out there thinking of me and enjoying my little corner of blogland. Good night!

Cat's got my tongue...

2010-02-25T19:58:00.000-08:00

It has been an interesting week. I got sick on Saturday with the cold bug, turned into an icky cough, and have lost my voice completely. 3 days of nothing but un-understandable hoarse, raspy whispers coming from me. The boys find my voiceless state to be quite amusing. I feel a bit helpless, Caillou and Jasper running circles around me, getting into the fridge, sneaking candy...leaving wrappers everywhere, jumping on the bed, running, running, screaming, more running, and I am silent, chasing...frantically trying to keep them somewhat calm and behaved. Today I was in the hospital, my asthma was giving me a good deal of trouble with all the coughing I have been doing. I came home this evening with a breathing machine and an inhaler. I sat once again silent, taking my breathing machine, while the boys wiggled and romped all over me, pulling tubes, playing with extra oxygen masks, listening for my heartbeat with their play stethiscope, putting odd things including their mouth, fingers, and a chicken nugget in my breathing machine. And as chaotic as it has been, it is perfect. Perhaps this mama's voice needed a rest from the do this and don't do thats. It has been a time for me to sit back and just listen and watch my two funny little monsters do what they do best, be silly little kids. I can't wait till my voice comes back to be able to give them dozens of "I love you's" and to tell them just how wonderful I think they are.

2010-02-21T18:30:00.000-08:00

I thought I would share a few random pictures from our week.

On Monday, I made a little trip down the hill without the kids for a girls day with my mama.

We had a yummy lunch at a really good restaurant called Mi Guadalahara. Then we mosied through a way too overcrowded antique store, no good treasures to be found unfortunately, and then a trip to to the craft store. It was a fun day out with Mama. Later that afternoon, I got the boys in their jammies and they went to their first pajama party. We had pizza and rootbeer, popcorn and sweet treats galore. They watched the movie "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" they had a lot of fun and enjoyed getting to have a late evening. It was 9pm by the time I got them home into bed, but they sure had fun! We had our laundry adventure on tuesday and a special meal for Mardi Gras. My husband fixed a large pot of gumbo. I am really not too fond of the stuff, but the boys like it. It was a pretty good week, we had a day of play at the park, lots of projects were worked on, and I even got to enjoy a massage at the spa. I have a buddy who is a massage therapist, and she has been so sweet to spoil me with a prenatal massage package gift certificate. It was quite relaxing and I can't wait to go again. I got the sickies again yesterday, this is one yucky cold flu this year! Today I should have did a bit more resting, but my fabric pile beckoned me to get up out of bed, and I spent half the day cutting quilt squares and drawing out new patterns for the boys. Jasper napped and Caillou played with all my scraps, using his little scissors snipping and trimming away. This next week will be a busy one, many projects waitng for me to work on and lots of adventures to have with the boys!

Valentine's Day and red wagon adventures

2010-02-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

We had quite a delightful Valentine's day. I baked lots of cupcakes for the boys to share in Sunday school, they had a swell time passing out their Valentine's. After church we took our jar of pennies to the coin machine in the grocery store and got $10! We made a little drive to one of my most favorite places, the old merry go round. It was a very sweet day!

Red Wagon Adventures.....

What on earth is that mountainous thing in our wagon? LAUNDRY!

Yesterday we walked to the laundromat to wash that mountain! It was quite a delightfully simple and fun adventure. The boys were quite happy to help. We walked to the little candy corner of the antique store and got 3 pieces of taffy, a gummy worm, and 3 gumdrops. The boys were quite pleased with their brown paper bags of yumminess.

Riding the Laundry Train.... We loudly sang our "Laundry Train" song and had a good deal of fun.

We've caught the love bug...

2010-02-13T10:57:00.000-08:00

We put the finishing touches today on our Valentines. Caillou and Jasper were quite happy to be mama's crafty little helpers. They had lots of fun enjoying a few nibbles of candy and carefully placing all their Valentine's into their mailboxes we made earlier this week. Tomorrow should be quite fun for them!

Our life in pictures.....and words

2010-02-11T12:51:00.000-08:00

The Valentine's mailboxes we made!

picnics and playtime

homemade sweeties

A cajun crawfish boil for the boys

The Crawfish Parade...

panning for gold and pumping water

sleepytime....

new yarns from my mama for another baby blankie

and

another baby blankie in the works

a new dress
and a blouse I made for myself

homemade chilli and cornbread Caillou helped me make

mama-made fitted crib sheets and a blankie for Ollie

handmade basket liner's for the basket to hold Ollie's clothes

homemade kimonos

little somethings for above the crib

a little Valentine's sweeties early...

With each post I write, I promise myself that I will be better at posting more often. Yet here I am again, and a whole week has slipped by without so much as a single post, picture, or update. Since my last post, we went to a free museum our church just recently finished in Old Town, the boys loved it, it was very interactive and exciting and at the end of the tour they panned for gold! We have had a picnic at the park, and the boy's first crawfish boil. I have been sewing, crocheting, and putting seeds out in the garden. I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday. Afterwards my mama took us all to the McDonald's with the indoor playground. When it was time to leave, Caillou had other plans, and I in my 7 months pregnant figure had to climb and wiggle through the sky tubes and world's longest, most horribe twisty slide with 4 unknown germy noisy children on top of me, Caillou of course bolted out of the playground as soon as I got far enough into the germy maze to not be able to get out fast enough to catch him. It was a long afternoon of wild behavior and "bathroom" talk from Caillou. I was exasperated to say the least. Yet now I can't help but giggle thinking about it.

Jasper's ear infection is getting much better, however we all caught something nasty from the germ vat otherwise known as Urgent Care. My poor boys cough and cough all day and all night long. Jasper is still on his amoxcicillin and they are both taking their asthma breathing treatments. Tomorrow we were scheduled for our 3 year old and 18 month check-ups and shots, however as it turns out, it will be more of a sick visit. Right now they are huddled up on the couch together, freshly bathed, warm and snuggly in clean jammies, tummies full of chicken noodle soup, taking turns with the asthma machine... watching a 1970's Sesame Street Episode.

We have not been able to accomplish too many of our Valentine's plans yet. We made some lemon sunshine cupcakes on monday, and yesterday we made our Valentine's Day mail boxes... a doggy one for Jasper and a frog for Caillou, we still have our Valentine's to make to fill our mail boxes. On Sunday they will bring their mail boxes with them to their Nursery Class and Sunbeams class and pass out some goodies to their friends. It is so exciting to me as a mama to help prepare special little goodies for my boys and to see them grow and start making friendships. Caillou and Jasper have become the best of friends, it is quite endearing and heart melting to see big brother hold little brother's hand, to see big brother worry and fret about little brother when he coughs or cries or is out of his sight on the Mc Donald's playground. It is adorbale to see the two of them snuggle together and hug each other, and to hear Caillou tell Jasper " I love you" . Today Caillou was feeling pretty sicky and crying, and sweet little 18 month old Jasper came over and rubbed Caillou's back.

I wish I had some good news to report concerning the job hunt/ keeping our home situation, but a job still has not been found. My mama was our miracle this month and saved us from eviction. We have $20 to our name, bills due and rent approaching again. We will however be receiving a $900 tax return, so that will definitely help. I just keep hoping that a job is around the corner and that all will work out. I truly appreciate everyone's sweet comments, prayers, and hopes and wishes for our happiness. It is comforting to know I have sweet friends out there who worry along with me and care about my little family.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day weekend full of love and smiles and sweets!

Silly Boy...

2010-02-04T20:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday while Jasper was napping, Caillou and I went out into the yard to work on our little garden. Caillou did not care to wear pants yesterday, so out into the yard we went in a thermal shirt, a pair of underwear or as he calls them Wee-wear, and his cowboy boots. For some reason he decided his underwear was best worn around his knees, and decided to run around, search for worms, and dig in the garden this way for nearly an hour. He is such a silly boy... I just adore him! Tomorrow my boys and I are going to get out in the dirt some more. We have some strawberry plants from my mama to put into the ground, and some nasturtium seeds. I have decided to work on my little garden and have faith that we will be able to keep our little home and see our seeds sprout and enjoy picking fruits and veggies from our little plot. I cannot lose our little home, I just can't. Perhaps it is naive and foolish of me to feel this way when there is no prospects of paying the bills, but I just can't bear to lose our little home. The landlords will have to drag me out kicking and screaming. This is the home my boys love, it is the home we are making memories in, and we have nowhere else to go, I just have to believe that we will find a way to keep our little home. No we don't own it, yes it is very tiny, cold in the winter, and rickety and old, but it is home. So.... tomorrow we are going to dig around in the little yard that surrounds our home and plant some seeds. And who knows, maybe Caillou will even wear pants!

The very long week....

2010-02-02T20:57:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since I have posted. I have been under the weather with a kidney infection and poor little Jasper has had an ear infection. I had a long evening in the labor and delivery unit to address my kidney issues, and had an ultrasound. Baby put on quite a show for us. He showed us his little feet and stretched out his toes. He brought his hands to his face and stretched and waved, and even had hiccups. It was very exciting to be in the labor and delivery unit, seeing the little baby isolettes and baby blankets ready in each room for a new baby. I am getting quite eager to meet little Ollie. Not too much time left to wait, he will be here in May. Last night was spent at urgent care with Jasper and his earache, poor baby, he is starting to feel much better though now having taken a few doses of antibiotics. I have been busy sewing and we have been taking walks to the park to play. Tomorrow I am going to help the boys begin making Valentine's cards and we are going to make some carrot cake cupcakes. Hopefully the boys will have some quiet playtime, and I will be able to get a bit more sewing done.

Rainy Days....

2010-01-22T09:04:00.000-08:00

sewing with mama....

and sharing cake with Blah-Blah the monkey
mmmmm, yummy mama!

a little bedtime cake....

painting while the rain falls.....

apple sauce in the making....

old crayon bits.....

into new crayons!

making songs for mama....

Here in sunny southern California.... it has been anything but sunny. 80 mile per hour winds, pouring rain, thunder, lighting, and hail. I love it! I am very thankful that we still have our little home to stay dry in. Panic has begun to once again set in, February 1st is nearing, my husband still has not found work, and we still have not a penny in our pockets. I know that even if we find a way to pay rent, if he does not start work immediately, March will be just as worrisome. It has been a blur of job application after job application, hoping and praying. The stress, worry, and fear is too much for me. I know money will never be in abundance in our family, I just want to have the peace of mind knowing that my babies will have a little place to call home, a place for warm bubble baths, and snuggly mornings, a place for mama to bake cookies and a little corner to sew for my little ones. I want to not have to be in a panic when we run out of dish soap or diapers or Tums for my heartburn. I just want to be able to get by. My mama, thank goodness for my mama, if it weren't for her, this situation would be even more horrible. My mama always keeps my boys in their diapers and training underwear, shoes that fit, warm sweaters, toys and treats. She washes their dirty clothes every week for me and makes emergency trips up the hill to our town to save us in the knick of time before the electricity gets shut off. She cheers me up with trips for patterns and yarn, yummy lunches, baby clothes, toilet paper and pimple cream! Our outings are always aimed to cheer me up, and keep my mind off my worries. There is usually always a diet coke and bakery cookies for the boys, and a toddler temper tantrum and us running from the store in embarrasment at my childrens will antics, but as harried as the days are, they help me keep my sanity. I have been trying hard to not let my panic and worries overcome me, and have been keeping busy with the goodies my mama keeps me supplied with. Sewing and crocheting, baking and playing with my littles. Today.... we are listening to the rain pour, waiting for it to let up long enough to bundle up, take off in our rickety red wagon, and fetch some milk from the store. I think it will be a soggy adventure!

What was I thinking?

2010-01-17T20:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I am either the worst mama in the world, or the best one. Or perhaps just a slighty free-spirited crazy one. I think the first mistake I made was allowing them to romp outside in their pajamas.... and once the mud was spotted by my two little men, there was no stopping them. After they had had their fill of sloppy mud puddle splashing and frolicking, a very warm bubble bath and yummy hot cocoa was immediately prepared. This week we are expecting very heavy rains for 4 days straight. I am quite excited about this, rainy weather always puts me in even more of a mood to bake cakes, cut into fabric and sew sew sew, paint with the kids, play games and puzzles, built forts for snuggling, and do lots of creative projects. However, after the rain, I am a bit concerned about all the mud for my childrens' romping pleasure.

Grilled Cheese and Good News....

2010-01-10T19:41:00.000-08:00

Here are my two cuties, enjoying a grilled cheese sandwhich before church. It has been a long and emotionally trying week, full of many ups and downs, a thriller of a roller coaster ride to say the least, but some good news has come. Thanks to help from family, the rent check was mailed off yesterday, so for now... this little home I love, is mine to love for a bit longer. I am scared to death at the thought of rent being once again due in 20 days, and no source of income coming in, but for now I am relieved that my boys have their little home they love to go to sleep in each night, their own bath tub to bathe in, and an oven for Mama to cook them their dinner. I am also glad that I can stop staring at each and every little corner of my house sobbing and blowing my nose!!! Many, many changes need to come about during this year. Many changes, to prevent us from once again being in this situation. There is so much that is out of my hands, but I am working on what I have the ability to change. I am truly grateful for all of your kind comments and prayers. Writing a blog and reading others has helped me through a lot of tough times. All though I rarely write of the tough times, blogging has helped me to get through them, to get my mind off them, to focus my attention on happy things, find inspiration in lovely craft projects or a yummy recipe, and I have found such sweet friendships amongst my fellow bloggers. Thank you all for your friendship and love and kindness.

Christmas pictures and some real thoughts for a change...

2010-01-01T08:46:00.000-08:00

It has been a while, each day I come here to my blog with the intentions of leaving a post, yet I find myself at a loss for words of what to write about. Our Christmas was wonderful and beautiful, however before the 26th even came, my mind was once again flooded with worries, that not even the most magical of Christmas days could make go away. I will start with Christmas. Christmas truly was magical and enchanting for my little ones. Beginning this Christmas season, I knew there wouldn't be much under the tree from their mama, so I busied myself for months sewing a special quilt for Caillou, crocheting an aqua, yellow, and pale green blanket for Jasper, sewing teddy bears and little lambs, funny looking monsters, dolly diapers and kimonos, and Christmas eve pajamas. I scoured our little old thrift store on several occasions finding wondeful picture dictionaries for 50 cents, a little yellow tractor and a sesame street talking truck for just a few coins eachs, old fashioned preschool puzzles and flash cards for a quarter, with each treasure I found I hid it away in my old trunk at the foot of my bed. A special package arrived in the mail one day, from a truly amazing person I have met through blogging. The package was full of wooden toys, puzzles, nesting blocks, a little wooden flute and kazoo, dinasoars to paint, lots of treasures, she lovingly sent to be laid under the tree for my boys. A bit before Christmas with some special Christmas shopping funds from my mama, together my mama and I did a bit of Christmas shopping, I was quite happy to have been able to have gotten a few toys to place under the tree from their mama, not that a mama's handmade presents aren't loved too, but there is nothing like finding a little train in your Christmas stocking, or a friendly rubber dinosaur peering out at you from under the tree. The week before Christmas, on Monday evening, there was a knock on our door. When I opened the door, there on my porch were a handful of members from my church, singing us a Christmas carol. The boys came out of their room to see what was going on, and by the end of the song our church friends were coming in with arms full of gift bags and boxes and large trash bags full of presents beautifully gift wrapped for my boys. I was in shock and in tears, and of course the boys were so surprised and excited, they weren't quite sure what to do! Caillou questioned if it was "the Polar Express" Jasper grabbed presents and ran as fast as his chubby little legs could take him. After they left, all I could do in my shock and amazement was wipe tears from my eyes and offer a prayer of thankfullness for the blessings that had just been given us. Our green and red polka dotted tree skirt, was no longer in sight, the Christmas morning that I worried about being so small for my children was no more, there were far too many presents to count laying under the tree. Far more than presents arrived that night, ture Christmas Spirit was delivered to our home. All week I could not get over my gratitude and amazement of the kindness and love delivered to my boys. Christmas morning was enchanting. Caillou could hardly contain himself, he was bubbling over with excitement and happiness and Jasper too was mesmerized and curious about all that lay under the tree. For breakfast we had homemade applesauce and blueberry muffins, something mama used to make for me that I loved when I was a kid. The kids had a blast opening all their presents. There were lots of toys and our church had also bought beautiful clothing for the boys, pajamas, even socks, and a church outfit too, all of which were carefully picked out and in my kids exact sizes. There were hand knitted hats and soft balls, and a soft, cuddly, new robe for me ( which I have hardly taken off since Christmas morning!) Somewhere in the midst of the present opening, my Mama ( boo-bah to the boys) Grandpa, Nammy and Grandpa Bob came up to our home. We had yummy homemade cheese enchiladas rice and beans that my mama spent hours preparing on Christmas Eve, and a homemade cheesecake that Nammy made. Nammy and Boo-bah brought trains for the boys, their favorite thing to play!! And last but not least came the very special present from Boo-bah and Grandpa, a train table. This has been truly the best present my mama could have gotten for the boys, they have played with it nearly non stop, there is the occasional train fight, or Jasper decides to climb up on the middle of the table and I have to remove him, but this so far has proven to be the toy that my boys enjoy the most and play the nicest with each other. Christmas was wonderful, but as I said earlier, not even the most magical of Christmas celebrations could distract me from life's worries for long. As I lay in bed that night thinking of all the wonderful gifts given to my boys, I wondered where I would put them all. Rent being due soon, and no way to pay it. I wondered how many toys and how much of the boys clothing we would actually be able to keep. What would become of the furniture and knick knacks, and all the things I have made for our home. Where would mny children sleep at night. When Ollie is born will I have our old crib to put him in, let alone a room for that crib. All these fears that I live with daily came back to my mind, and with those fears, the magic of Christmas was over for mama. It has been a year now of my husband's unemployment, a year with no paychecks. A year of surviving solely off food stamps to feed my little family, our church and family helping us keep a roof over our head, and constantly going without... our bills are the very basic needs, we don't have television or even a house phone, we don't have a car payment, just one car to share, no memberships, or extras, still the basics needs are not being met, the bread not being won so to say. It has been a year of living in fear of being homeless with my babies, a year of uncertaintly, hopelessness, and a year of great frustration and anger as well. I paint a vivid picture on this blog of the happy parts of my life, the simple joys I share with my children. And then there is so much more that I keep to myself. A life that goes unwritten on the pages of this blog, a life that upsets me to much to share. However today, on the first of the month of a new year, I find myself struggling to write only about the sunshiney and happy, and feel a need for change in all areas of my life. A need to create a better life for myself and for my precious little ones. A need to find happiness and security. I feel a need to share more of me, a need to express my true self, a need to once again find that true self. Somehwere in the events of my adult years at the ripe age of 26 I have lost the feisty girl I once was, the girl that felt capable and confident of anything, the girl that made her own choices in life and was scared of nothing, controlled by no one, and answered to nobody but herself and her own whims and plans. I am searcing for that girl, trying to find myself and my inner strength once again. Fighting to make a better life for myself, and find happiness and hope to replace my tears and worries. I don't know what this New Year holds for me. I don't what choices or changes I will make in my life, I know many need to be made. I do know, that somehow it has to be better. It has to be better than sitting here on the first of the month, rent unpaid. Counting down the 9 days until we receive our eviction notice. This year has to be better.

Baby #3 secret revealed......

2009-12-21T09:59:00.000-08:00

I am pleased to announce that baby #3 is another little boy! I am very excited, his name will be Ollie. Oliver actually, but we will call him Ollie. I am looking forward to having 3 little boys running around my house. 3 boys just feels just right, right now. So for now, the pink flowery fabric, vintage baby dress patterns, and lace and bows will be set aside for another day, a future baby, and out will come the blue flannel, polkadots and ric rac, little ducks and elephants and teddy bears, and I will begin sewing some sweet little boy clothes for my Ollie! Little Ollie is due to join our family June 1st, but being that I have to have c-sections, he will be scheduled to arrive sometime towards the end of May. He will be the perfect Mother's Day gift. Have a wonderful day everyone!

And baby #3 is......

2009-12-18T19:31:00.000-08:00

Today I went to my first doctor appointment with this pregnancy. It was a long time in the waiting, with medi-cal insurance drama I was stuck just going to the ER until today. I had good insurance through my husband's work and the best doctor in the world with Caillou and Jasper. It was a bit difficult for me to have to go to a different doctor this time around... okay it was more than a bit difficult, I called my old doctor's office countless times begging to be seen even though I was on medi-cal, even though I was too poor to pay for the delivery, I even contemplated going in his office with a pie and crying, my therapist even thought that stood a good chance, but in the end, I toughened up, accepted that with poor people's insurance you just can't go see the best doctor in town, and okay, well I am still throwing myself a pity party and want my old doc. But today I went to the new doctor...... and baby # 3 revealed whether I will be sewing pink or blue. I have picked the name, and my mama (Boo-bah) to the the boys... of course followed tradition and took me out baby shopping for a few darling little things. To keep the suspense a bit longer, I will wait to reveal pink or blue until my next post... along with baby's name. Feel free to comment with your guesses of gender and the selected baby name!!! Have a great weekend!

Time to bake....

2009-12-17T09:05:00.000-08:00

The oven is pre-heating, many sticks of butter are softening on the counter, the recipes are coming out. Today is a day for Christmas baking! Caillou is pretty excited! I am sure the boys will consume far more cookie dough than I would like, and my floor might become embedded with sprinkles, but they will have fun! Cookies to enjoy by the Christmas tree, cookies to share with friends and neighbors, cookies for Santa. After the cookie baking fesitvities have concluded, we will make the long walk to K-mart for some containers to freeze some of the cookies in! And we may just have to stop in at McDonalds for a romp on the playground and some $1 cheeseburgers!

Busy days...

2009-12-15T11:06:00.000-08:00

Wow it has been over a week since I have shared my thoughts here on my blog. It has been a busy week. Caillou had a very happy birthday. He loved opening presents, and we had a special birthday lunch, and of course birthday cake. The boys both caught colds and I have been quite busy wiping noses, and encouraging them to take their homeopathic cough syrup, and trying to keep them still long enough for a breathing treatment on their asthma nebulizer machine. Our house has become a disaster zone in the past week, which I have been working quite hard to tidy up today. I refuse to put presents under the tree, until my house is back to it's usual cute and cluttered but clean self! We are about half-way there... I am in a nesting sort of mood, and trying to make improvements in all areas of the house, which is easier said than done, being that there is not much room in this tiny place. But I am in home improvement mode, moving things around, convinced that I will find a way to fit everything in how I want in and create a bit more room! Today I moved the diaper chaning table in from the shed, and it fit perfectly alongside the crib. The changing table has served many purposes, we picked it up at a thrift store while I was pregnant with Caillou, gave it a coat of white paint, and sewed a new cushion for it. It first served as Caillou's changing table, and then became more of a place to hold bins of toys, and then eventually went into the shed since most diapers ended up being changed anywhere but on that table! But it is back in the house again. Probably not for diaper changing of the new one on the way, but as something to hold his or her clothes in. I had hopes of buying a dresser, but there isn't much chance of that, especially since my long lanky Caillou really is in need of a twin bed, so.... I will get creative and adapt. As soon as I have the new baby area ready and presentable I will share some pics. I was able to use our car this weekend and had a fun outing with my mama. We did a bit of Christmas shopping and ate lunch out, yummy soup and sandwhiches! I am excited to have a few gifts under the tree for the boys from their mommy, even if it was my mama who gave me the money to shop for them! If I haven't said it before, I have the best mama ever ( Boo-bah to the boys!) She is always doing something for me and the boys, whether it be Christmas shopping money, or warm winter clothes for the boys, a yummy lunch out, baking yummies for her grandbabies, bringing PattiCakes dog food and treats, sending me sewing patterns in the mail, my mama is always doing something wonderful. Sunday was a quiet day recovering from Christmas shopping, going to church, and spending time at home. Yesterday I met with a nurse at my new doctors office, then had some bloodwork done, and upon standing up, apparently I passed out! I sure am glad the boys weren't with me, I can just picture myself unconscious and the kids running circles and causing terrible mischief! This Friday I go back and meet with the actual doctor, I am hoping that I will be able to find out whether baby #3 is a boy or a girl. I would absolutley love getting to sew darling little dresses for a baby girl, but I do love my boys, and I can't shake the image out of my mind that I am laying a new baby down in the crib and the baby is wearing a blue onesie. Boy or girl, I will be perfectly happy with either. Well, I suppose I should get back to tidying up this mess of a house! I have much sewing to do this week to finish up for Christmas, lots of Christmas baking ahead, and I really would like to do some more canning. My sweet icicle pickles I canned in October were delightful, and the pickle relish wasn't half bad either, a little too sweet, but still yummy! Well, before I finish with the tidying up, the boys and I are going to walk to the little corner market for a bag of tortilla chips and some tomatoes for later. This little store is pretty gross and very stinky, weird meats and cheeses that I don't dare even inquire about, and many other odd food items that I can't imagine consuming, but they are convenient when we are out of milk, or I have a craving to make nachos and no tortilla chips! And after that nacho craving, I will clear the table and put a Christmas table cloth on it!!! Chips to eat, work to do! Have a great week!

Preparing for tomorrow...

2009-12-07T12:16:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is a very special day. My dear Caillou will celebrate his 3rd birthday. Today has been a day of preparing. We baked his birthday cake together this morning, frosted it and covered it with sprinkles! I get all weepy and emotional thinking about how fast he has grown. I wish I could rewind time and snuggle him once more as he was when he was a wee little newborn. I look at pictures of him, and I just don't know how the time has flown by so fast. It amazes me how many changes he has gone through right before my eyes. Three years ago today, I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing. I was waddling around like a nervous wreck, wondering just how bad a c-section was going to be. I was eating large quantities of mexican food at a restaurant called Acapulco. I walked up and down Grand Ave, visited friends who owned a little homemade soap shop on that street. Sat in an old fashioned little coffee shop and sipped hot cocoa. I counted diapers, again and again, convinced that the 600 or so that I had would surely not be enough. I packed and unpacked my diaper bag, I paced, I smoothed crib sheets, and I waited. I remember the last thing I ate was a chocolate donut from Peterson's donut corner, before the c-section fasting began. I remember waiting the morning of the 8th waiting to go to the hospital. I remember getting extremely nervous in the underground parking lot of the hospital, my mama and mom giving me a beautiful pink blanket for myself during the hospital stay, and nervously muttering something, and walking very slowly towards the maternity ward. I remember waiting, I remember nervously rambling to my anithesiologist about heartburn, I rememeber the nurse holding me tightly while I was getting my spinal. I remember laying on the table, convinced that I was falling off, I remember the doctors chatting away as I was in surgery, I remember pressure and tugging, and feeling as if my insides were being completely removed, and then were the first cries...and in that moment I became a mother, the most wonderful, joyous, beautiful, happiest moments of my life began that day. Caillou was a delightful baby, smart and adorable, wild and wonderful, full of energy and smiles and mischief from the day he was born. He made my heart melt, and I fell desperately in love with him. Tomorrow as we celebrate these past 3 years of Caillou's journey through life so far, I will look back at some of the tender moments of his babyhood, the exciting moments of his first steps and first words, the chaotic moments of wild todderhood, and I will cherish it all, and look forward to the many more beautiful moments I will share with this darling child of mine.

Mama, the Christmas Elf...

2009-12-03T08:02:00.000-08:00

the new warm quilt Caillou has specifically requested that Mama sew for him

I have been very busy with projects for Caillou's birthday and Christmastime gifts and ornament exchanges and homemade toys. I feel like an elf at the North Pole busily creating this and that, stitching up this, putting the finishing touches on that, wrapping it up with a shiny satin ribbon, and begininng work on another project. My stash of fabric is shrinking, but not too terribly! I have been collecting fabric alongside my mama for many years, however no matter how much collecting and accumilating I do... I could never beat the size of her fat quarter stash! My poor sewing machine has taken quite a beating over the past week. We went for a walk yesterday down to the quilt shop and picked up some sewing machine oil. I could have lingered in there for hours oohing and aahing over fabric and lovely books that inspire, and patterns galore. And of course I would have loved to have gone home with a rather large bundle of pretty little prints to inspire future projects, but dear Caillou and Jasper began their screaming contests and I left the store before I got the chance to pout about being too poor to buy the little lovelies that had caught my eye! A very timely tantrum indeed!

After the boys were in bed, I took apart my sewing machine and removed a tennis ball sized lump of lint, thouroughly cleaned the insides, and gave it a good oiling. I can't wait to start working on more projects today!

Christmastime...

2009-12-01T23:10:00.000-08:00

The homemade advent calendar...

The boys are busy helping their mama get ready for Christmas!

Turn up your volume... here is a quick little Christmas Carol from Caillou!

Our Thanksgiving...

2009-11-27T09:13:00.000-08:00

A couple of pictures from a past Thanksgiving when my only child had fur and a tail!

Thanksgiving turned out quite well. The evening before Caillou helped with some of the cooking. He really enjoyed making deviled eggs, there weren't many left by the next day! He ate them as fast as we could make them! Caillou was completely in charge of mashmallow placement on the candied yams, there were many many marshmallows. Thanksgiving dinner was served at noon, my favorite was the mashed potatoes and gravy, sooooo sooooo buttery! Jasper loved the cresent rolls and stuffing and homemade cranberry sauce. And Caillou of course was happy with eating nothing but deviled eggs! Neither of the boys cared for the turkey too much, just like mama... turkey never has been my favorite! The boys enjoyed toasting with sparkiling apple cider... and mama had some laughs from the loud toddler burping that followed! We had some free movie passes and went to see The Fantastic Mr. Fox! We loved it!!!! Very cute! During the end scene, some lively music came on, and Caillou jumped out of his seat and began dancing down the aisle of the movie theater!!! We came home, and the kids ate some more leftovers and we brought out the pumpkin whoopie pies... these for sure will be a new Thanksgiving tradition for us! I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Thankful....

2009-11-24T20:22:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for little boys that love their mama's baked goods...

and for healthy happy children.
I am thankful for being a stay at home mama, being able to enjoy simple happy moments.
Even if it does involve half dressed little men playing architect on my dining table...

I am thankful for the yard my children have to play in...

And for their new little baby brother or sister that is on the way!

I am thankful that I was at home, where a mother needs to be, and that I was able to witness the miracle of my children taking their first steps.

I am thankful for the beauty of God's creation.

And for special outings, and snuggly blankets.

I am thankful for my children's shining happy faces. For the sound of their laughter and their noisy footsteps running throughout the house.

I am thankful for my home. For the homemade goodness that fills our home, and the sunshine and joy my children fill these four walls with

Tomorrow evening I will begin preparing for our Thanksgiving festivities. I am going to do as much of the cooking as I can after the boys are in bed, so that I can spend Thanksgiving morning playing and loving them. At first I thought perhaps I would cook something unconventional for Thanksgiving, but in the end I decided to share with my boys a traditional Thanksgiving feast. This will be Jasper's first year actually partaking in Thanksgiving dinner, last year he did get to try rice cereal for the first time though! On the menu... A turkey breast with gravy, homemade mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes with ever so many marshmallows, a few deviled eggs, cranberry sauce, stuffing, southern creamed corn casserole, sauteed zuchinni and sqaush, cresent rolls, crumb top apple pie, and pumpkin whoopie pies. It will be quite the spread for just little ole me and the boys, but I want them to remember holidays and have wonderful memories and love them and cherish these special days. Now if the morning sickness does become extreme, and heavens forbid I throw up on the turkey, KFC will be open until 4pm! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving everyone...

In the hallway....

2009-11-23T18:54:00.000-08:00

Allright, so this is my little space in which I create things. In my hallway, wedged in between our dooway and the china cabinet. It is a bit messy, but it is hard to contain my crafty supplies in such small quarters. Our hallway is a bit wider than some, but I am worried, that as my stomach grows, I may not fit in my sewing room any longer!!! It is already a tight squeeze! But for now, while I still fit, this is where I sew. In the day time, the boys crawl under my chair, over the treadle, unplug my machine, unwind ribbon and wrap it round and round the chair legs, hop over me to get to the kitchen or potty, and then crawl under me to get back to the living room. It is a wild adventure to sew with them. In the evening, I am sandwiched smack dab in between two sleeping boys, with only a thin wall in front of me and behind me to keep them from waking, and if I wind a bobbin to fast, they do wake up!!! They have become accustomed though to the sounds of Mama's sewing machine, and for the most part, don't mind my night sewing. Occasionally, Caillou will come to his doorway and ask me what I am making, and then goes back to bed. I love my dollhouse full of my favorite fabrics, and my treadle table that serves as my sewing desk, there is a treadle machine inside, but being cramped on space, I had to pick one machine to sew with, and the one with a zig zag stitch and electronic features won! So there it is, my little sewing room, messy and tiny, but I thought I would show y'all anyway!

Yesterday...

2009-11-20T19:29:00.000-08:00

Creative Days...

2009-11-19T12:12:00.000-08:00

I have been quite busy with projects, too many going at once. Working on a quilt for Caillou, making a Christmas countdown calendar and matching garland, adding a few rows here and their to a crochet project... I finally finshed Jasper's crochet blanket! And made the boys two warm and cozy little hats. I am working hard to get ready for the holidays, sewing as often as I can!

About a week ago, Caillou asked me if he could paint. I got all his supplies out for him, and this is what he created! I was so impressed, this really was his first true picture, or at least the first one that Mommy was able to recognize something in the picture, not just scribbles and dots!

Have a happy day!

2009-11-17T20:57:00.000-08:00

Reckless, rugged, rowdy, never sitting still...

Screaming, yelling, growling, such a strong strong will.

Jumping, climbing, running, bouncing off the walls....

Chasing baby brother, not listening when mama calls.

Pushing, hitting, biting....lectures and time outs....

Mama sits and cries, while the angry toddler shouts.

Session with the toddler shrink, list of things to do...

behavior charts, and discipline, nothing is getting through

How do I reach my unruly boy, and tame his wild ways,

and help him to do what is best each and every day?

How do I get him to listen,

and learn to be gentle and kind,

I search and search for the answer...

and this is what I find....

Kiss him when he is angry, hug him when he is sad,

shut my mouth when I want to yell,

and try to not get mad....

Have patience, all though it is hard to do,

and always give him love,

and remember no matter how naughty he's been,

He is a blessing from above.

Today was a particularly trying day with my Mr. Caillou. On days like today, I become so discouraged I feel as if I want to give up and run away and hide. I love my dear boy so much, I just wish he would calm down, listen to mommy, and stop doing such atrocious things. By mid afternoon I was so mad today, I was ready to throw in the towel. I am without a car, and we needed to get to the other end of town... soooo, I put them in the bike trailer and began pedalling. Well, morning sick mama, towing 65 pounds of little ones behind her, was going quite slow. Then Caillou began slamming his helmet into Jasper's helmet. By the time we got to the bank, the yelling, biting, screaming " go away mommy" had begun. It was as if I was talking to a wall, no matter what I asked him to do, he just would not obey. We left the store, and had a timeout, which of course he out powers me, and escapes from. Then I had the joy of putting them back in the bike trailer. We pedalled slowly to Jack in the Box, I was hungry, and pissed at the bank, ( bank account negative $55 bucks) and took my bag of coins in and ordered a late lunch for us all. The screaming began again, and then the biting, and the time out, and more screaming, and not staying in his high chair. Finally the food came, and after much ranch dressing consumption between both the boys, it was time to get back in the bike trailer, and of course nobody was listening to Mommy. By the time we got home, I was exasperated, and then there was a mud battle. Every time we leave the house, I come home feeling defeated, and physically drained. Yet, he is so wild here at home, that sometimes we need to just get away from the house, give the house a little break, have a change of scenery. I try everything with this wild boy, Nanny 911 would need a good therapist if she ever came to visit my house. Today I was just plain mad, tired, exhausted, and upset. But tonight as I look at Caillou sleeping in his bed, I can't be angry. I realize I can't be mad, I can't give up, I can't yell no matter how much he yells at me, I just have to keep on praying and trying and loving this little boy. Love conquers all, right? So, tomorrow I am trying a new approach, I am vowing to stop yelling, I am vowing to hug and kiss, when I really want to spank his rambunctious little bottom, I am going to sit on time out with him, and most of all I will muster up patience, even when I feel I am going to explode. Because I love this wild thing of mine. And he needs to know I love him, and that mommy will always be there no matter what.

A party in the planning....

2009-11-16T19:37:00.000-08:00

Little Caillou, isn't so little anymore. In just a couple of weeks we will be celebrating his 3rd birthday. He is very excited this year about his birthday. He knows the Happy Birthday song, he knows there will be cake, and a present or two, and he understands that " Thanksgiving comes first, and then my birthday party Yay!" He has grown so much in this past year. His talking skills have amazed me. He holds conversations with me, he tell me funny stories, and he knows so many big words. I love what a wonderful time this is in his life, and how open he is to learning new things and having new adventures. Yet, I long for the days when he was little. When I could just snuggle him in my arms all day long, and he was a good boy all the time! I really can't stand the defiant phase he is going through. I am exhausted at the end of the day from all the time outs, biting, toy throwing, who is the boss battles, and naughty doings. I long for a peaceful day with him, the way it was when he was little. But I cannot turn back the clock. I just have to do my best each day, try to be patient, and keep encouraging him to choose good behavior. And try to stop mutterning bad words under my breath when I am exasperated, because this kid is a parrot!

Devilled Eggs for my little Devil....

2009-11-16T19:28:00.000-08:00

Okay perhaps, devil is a bit too strong, let's just say... my not so angelic at times toddler! He loved them! Jasper was disgusted by the whole look, squishy feel, and taste of this special snack. But Caillou, oh Caillou loved them. Seeing his face light up when I brought them out, and hearing him "mmmmmm" and "yum" as he greedily gobbled them up, made it well worth stinking up the house with the stench of hard boiled eggs.

Halloween Pictures... FINALLY!

2009-11-12T19:28:00.000-08:00

Caillou decided on being Max from "Where the Wild Things Are"

and little Jasper was my baby gnome!
I am sorry it took me so long to post these photos. I had been having a good deal of trouble with my internet, and just couldn't seem to get the photos to upload. I had a fun time making the boys' costumes, and they had a great time collecting candy all throughout the town!

The new look...

2009-11-11T19:05:00.000-08:00

Allright, I decided I would not create confusion and change blog addresses. Instead I am doing a bit of sprucing things up. Spring cleaning so to say, in the Fall! So, I hope you all enjoy the new look and some of my plans to come for this little old blog..... Much of my life involves homemade goodness. Whether it be cookies in the oven, sewing an outfit or a new snuggly creature for the boys, keeping my hands busy with crochet during our Sesame Street mornings, or snuggling in a hand sewn quilt, our life is full of things homemade, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the process of creating something for my little family, knowing that I am making something unique, something all our own, and infusing tender memories, a mama's hopes, and intended love, into each stitch. With each seam completed, or each row of crochet finished, I have puposefully created something out of love for my children. I love that feeling. With two boisterous boys, it is difficult to find the time and energy to create, but when I do, there is a sense of calm, a sense of purpose, and a renewed feeling of love and happiness that stirs in my heart. There are also exasperation and frantic pleas.... Caillou put the scissors down, Caillou stop winding bobbins, Caillou stop unwinding bobbins, Jasper stop licking fabric, Caillou stop poking me with pins, Jasper, please don't eat thread, Caillou where is my presser foot? Don't do THAT to the yarn!!!!! Please do not put a button in THERE!!!! My most peaceful and productive creative experiences come in the evening when they are in bed. I also love to help my boys create their own little projects. Which that too can be stressful, I shudder to think of how many crayons they have eaten this past year, far too many to count that is for sure! But the point is I want to fill my childrens lives with creative experiences, and homemade goodness. So, I will be posting a little more around here, some of that homemade goodness. Recipes, projects, patterns and tutorials, and even hope to get started some homemade swaps. So, I hope y'all enjoy the changes around here. Have a great night!

I promise I am still alive...

2009-11-09T19:21:00.000-08:00

Okay y'all sorry for the disappearance. My morning sickness got the better of me, and I went to the hospital last tuesday. I am now on some really good meds that are helping me to be able to eat! I have tried to post a few times, but for some reason blogger isn't letting me post any of my photos!!!! So, I thought I would at least post a little note to let you know that I am still here! I am very excited about Christmas time approaching and planning on doing a lot of sewing. I also have a secret project underway, and may be changing my blog. Yes I know again! And for those dear sweet friends who keep on following me with all my indecisiveness and blog changing... I love you! I have just been visiting soooo many blogs that inspire me, and I want to spruce mine up a bit. A bit of a makeover so to say, and the makeover will go hand in hand with my secret project that I am going to start. So, I promise I will keep y'all updated. oh and since I am horrible about leaving comments....

p.s. Boo-bah ....your house looks pretty! And if you go camera shopping, I will come with you!

p.s Shelley..... your grandson's birthday party looked like so much fun. I just realized that he and Caillou are only a month apart in age! I bet they would have a roaring time together!

p.s. Chrissy ..... keep up all your hard work, you are an awesome mama, and you are truly doing the Lord's work!

p.s. Cindy..... I think your cat and Caillou should join forces in their block tower building endeavors!

p.s. Brianna..... I could take the gnome to a few fun places!!! Does he like mexican food?

allright y'all goodnight

Halloween Sneak Peek...

2009-10-30T10:35:00.001-07:00

In our little town, all the Halloween festivites are being conducted today. The excitement in our house is very adorable! All morning Caillou has been practicing, " Trick or Treat" .... "Thank you, Happy Halloween." At 3 pm, as Caillou puts it..."let the wild rumpus begin" we will be going up and down main street, trick or treating at all the little shops. Daddy is coming home from work early, and meeting us along main street, then we are going out to dinner at our most favorite little taco shop. Afterwards, we will go to our church trunk or treat, for more candy collecting, some games, and a cup cake walk. Caillou is dressing as "Max" from "Where the Wild Things Are" and Jasper is going as a little gnome! I finished sewing their costumes last night, and they are quite giddy about the whole thing. The above picture shows their headpieces, after tonight there will be many more pictures to come!

That Mommy....

2009-10-25T19:54:00.000-07:00

This morning I woke up and decided no matter how tired, dizzy, and morning sick I felt, I was going to be "That Mommy" you know, the one who makes a huge hot breakfast for her kids, the one who does everything perfectly, the one whose motherly deeds are remembered for generations to come. So being "That Mommy" this morning.... I made hashbrowns, sausage, toast, and scrambled eggs... laid by our own chickens, yes I am quite proud of our chickens and their egg making wonders. I can't tell you how many times I ran to the bathroom morning sick before breakfast made it on the table,but it did make it to the table. I layed on the couch, enjoying seeing my family eat, then ran to the bathroom again. But.... determined to be "That Mommy" I then asked Caillou to join me in the kitchen to bake cupcakes for his Sunday School Nursery class. We made little white cupcakes with homemade cream cheese frosting, which I of course didn't want to just spread on, I want to pipe on with a pastry bag and special star tip, then we put a candy corn in the center of each one and sprinkled yellow and orange sprinkles atop. Then I put together Caillou's behavior card. In attempts to help him overcome some of his misbehaviors, we have begun introducing some new methods of teaching around here. One of which being, short term behavior cards. He gets a sticker on his card for doing good behaviors and gets a sticker for not doing bad behaviors. I am making them for him to use when we a meal out, a special play date, a trip to somewhere fun, and for his time in Sunday School. This one focused on no hitting, no biting, no yelling, following directions, sharing toys, listening to the lesson in class, and being kind. Okay, so breakfast done, cupcakes done, behavior card done, Jasper napped, Caillou dressed for church, mommy dressed for church, okay all of us successfully on time to church. Now before you think that I am wonder woman, getting all this accomplished in time to be to church bright and early, let me just shatter that illusion, our church starts at 1pm. So, no... not wonder woman. Got through the first hour of church, didn't throw up on anyone. Now that is quite the accomplishment, I am one of those pregnant ladies that just throws up without any warning, throws up in very un-throw-uppy places.... in front of the meat counter at the grocery story, at the drive-thru of McDonalds, in the pet store, in a trick or treating pumpkin. It is quite terrible. But, I made it through the hour. I got Caillou off to his class, handed Jasper off to Daddy.... and then I snuck out of church and went to Quiznos for a bowl of brocolli cheese soup and returned before anyone ever noticed I was gone. I know it was very naughty of me, but I was really quite hungry, and I am growing a baby, so I felt entitled to my craving. 3rd hour of church rolled around, and Iwas sooooo tired and feeling queasy once again. I really wasn't feeling like "That Mommy" was going to make an encore appearance this evening. So "That Mommy" became "This Mommy" the one who laid on the couch and couldn't change any diapers, couldn't cook any dinner, and couldn't get up if my life depended on it. I tried very hard to get Caillou to request in his sweetest of voices.... " Daddy, Sizzler.... salad bar, all you can eat buffet?" I totally understood what he was saying, but Daddy thought he was requesting a trip to the desert. No luck, no Sizzler. Finally Daddy, got the idea that I was not leaving the couch, and he fixed dinner. I did manage to play a game of Candyland with Caillou while I laid on the couch, and snuggled little Jasper before he fell asleep, but that was it. This is a hard time for me, I always want to do so much, bake yummies for my littles, sew them special things, take them on adventures, then when I get so sick that I don't feel up to all these things, I feel like a terrible mommy. I am trying to learn to pace myself, and not feel guilty or inadequate, but I struggle. I am also working on not being so grouchy. Feeling sicky brings out the grouch in me. Well, thanks for listening to my rambles.... Goodnight!
P.S. There would be pictures of our little cupcakes but my camera is broken. Another reason in which I am grouchy. I feel like I am losing memories by the hour, not being able to take pictures of my precious ones. I am praying that the tooth fairy will leave me a new camera under my pillow. I'm not holding my breath on that one.

We love Autumn...

2009-10-22T21:21:00.001-07:00

Living in Southern California, it is so hot in the summertime, that our scenery is usually very brown and dry. But in Autumn, things begin to green up, and there are pretty colors all around to be seen. The weather cools down, (sometimes) and I don't complain to much about being outside, in fact I actually love it! I really can't stand the heat, my kind of weather is crisp cool air, thunderstorms, and I adore springtime! Planting seeds, having hopes of a wonderful garden, baby chicks and ducklings at all the feed stores. Okay, but this post is about Fall... Fall makes me think of warm pies cooling on the counter, apple picking, cozy sweaters, making quilts, sewing halloween costumes, planning a yummy Thanksgiving feast, snuggling the kids under a warm blanket, drinking hot chocolate, making scarecrows, and picking out the perfect pumpkin. A couple of years ago, I became a bit obsessed with pumpkins. When Caillou was just a tiny baby, I planted a pumpkin seed. We watched it grow and grow and vine across the lawn of our little rental on Ivy Street. One fall evening I wrapped little Caillou up in a blanket, and we sat next to our pumpkin and read a book about how pumkins grow. We moved out of that little house before Autumn time came, that little pumpkin came with us. The following two years I begged my mama and papa to surrender their backyard to my pumpkin growing fancies. And for two years they suffered very high water bills, for my pumpkin crazies. This year we had our own little pumpkin patch. Due to hungry, pumpkin loving chickens, only one pumpkin fully grew and ripened up into a deep orange ready for picking. One large, lovely pumpkin! We have been getting our fill of pumpkins, going to pumpkin patches, and everyday my little Caillou asks me to bake a pumpkin pie. And I will bake that pumpkin pie... I promise, I am just waiting until my morning sickness is a bit better! I hope everyone is enjoying this nice season! Have a great week!

I love love love this picture, it just captures Caillous fun loving little spirit perfectly

makes me want some salsa!

If you look closely at this picture, you can see a reflection of me and my silly striped stockings in the glass window!

Who is missing from this photo??? Caillou, he is busy snuggling a little cat, and Jasper is looking down watching him.

HAPPY FALL!

Stray dogs, emergency rooms, chicken murder, drive in movies, apple pie, and pumpkins....

2009-10-18T13:09:00.000-07:00

This week has been quite long. Our favorite chicken, Magnolia, passed away this friday, she had a very tragic ending to her sweet 10 months spent here at the Little Hillbilly Farm. We are all trying to be at peace over the circumstances of her passing, but it was quite unexpected and very unfortunate. She will be greatly missed. Magnolia Chicken loved to come inside the house and sit in her favorite chair. She was very tolerant of Caillou and Jasper's affection and would not protest when she was carried from room to room and offered rides in toy cars, and snuggles with sutffed animals. She loved to find worms, eat watermelon, and blueberries were her most favorite treat of all. She was a very good chicken. Caillou is very sad, he was very good with his chicken, we will be getting him a baby chicken tomorrow, hopefully this one will be as sweet of a friend to Caillou as Mangnolia was. Later that evening, was spent in the emergency room, I was cramping and spotting. But all ended up being well, I had my first sonogram and was able to hear baby's strong heartbeat, and see baby too! Baby is healthy and mommy is quite relieved! It was so wonderful to hear the baby's heart beat, it is such an amazing experience. All though I have done this twice before, I don't think the miracle of pregnancy will ever cease to amaze me and bring me to tears, hearing those first heart beats, seeing that tiny little blur on the sonogram screen, and finally getting to hear a baby's first cries. It is truly a wonderful thing.

Last night was Daddy's birthday. We spent our evening at the Drive-In. We are very lucky to have one about 30 minutes from our town. The kids enjoyed seeing Where the Wild Things Are, I would have to say, it reminded me quite a bit of my own little wild thing Caillou! The kids dozed off during the second movie, Fame. We had quite a fun evening and enjoyed some birthday apple pie while we watched the movies.

yummy!

Halloween is approching, we have been visiting many local pumpkin patches. Caillou loves the freedom of being able to run around and around, playing, and admiring pumpkins till his little heart is content. He is very excited to make pumpkin pies with the many little sugar baby pumpkins he has picked. We did grow one very large pumpkin in our garden this year, there would have been more, but the chickens found the growing pumpkins and watermelons to be quite a tasty treat! I still have yet to sew the boys costumes, I am hoping to be able to get the money together for some material this week, so I can start sewing! Caillou wants to be either a gnome of cat in the hat, and sweet Jasper is happy to be whatever mommy sews for him!

This is PattyCakes. This sweet little dog found us one day. We were at the end of a bike ride, and she ran right up to me and into my arms. After looking for owners and none to be found, she has found her new home sweet home here with our little family. She is a young dog, very sweet, wonderful with the kids, and very loving and snuggly.

Well, that pretty much sums up our week. Oh, not quite, my cell phone met its death in the toilet bowl yesterday morning, my camera also is not any longer working, so I will be saving my pennies for another one, I can't bear to think of being without pictures of my little ones, even for just a little while, they grow far too fast! Well, this next week will be a busy one, we are going to another pumpkin patch on tuesday. I hope to can some homemade apple butter, make pumpkin pies with the boys, and do some sewing and gardening. Have a great week Y'all!

p.s. to all my bloggy friends, I apologize, I am, horrible about leaving comments on your blogs! I love all your blogs and visit them all the time, however it just seems that right as I am about to leave a comment... someone goes on time out, a gallon of milk has been spilled on the floor, someone is being bitten, diapers have gone missing and there are 2 naked little savages running amuck in the house, or a rainbow streaked child comes to me covered in paint, someone has eaten a crayon, a playmate has drowned a chicken, cookies are on fire, morning sickenss attacks me, there is a small flood, a tunnel to china is being dug in the front yard, there is always something! But I love you all! I love the sweet comments you leave me, they do truly encourage me and bring me many smiles, I love to read of your families, craft projects, and many wonderful posts that inspire me and bring happiness to my days. One of these days, I swear I will actually be better at commenting, perhaps when the kids are in college!